


Tangled roots

by Stlesismylover



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Christopher Diaz is a National Treasure, Feelings Realization, Getting Together, M/M, Mutual Pining, Oblivious Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:00:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27616616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stlesismylover/pseuds/Stlesismylover
Summary: Over the years, Eddie and Buck have built a friendship with strong foundations. Buck knows better than to risk it by acting on his feelings. So he draws a line delimiting what he can take and what would be too much and makes sure not to cross it. That's it until Eddie steps on it, opening a breach.or Eddie is too dense for his own good and Buck is going crazy
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 151
Kudos: 521
Collections: 9-1-1 Tales





	1. Friday

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there!  
> This fandom has helped me get through these crazy times we live in. Here's my contribution to how our boys could get together.  
> We are ignoring covid here, we have enough of it already.  
> This is my first fic ever and English is not my first language. So be gentle, I've tried my best. If you see any mistake please let me know and I'll fix it!  
> I also wanted to thank all the writers on this fandom for creating such amazing content. I admire you all!!  
> Hope you like it! :)

It’s a regular Friday night. Buck uses his key to let himself into the Diaz household. He’s carrying three pizzas and a bag with beer and juice for Christopher. Movie nights are always the highlight of the week. He will never get over the excitement of spending time with his best friend and ~~his~~ Eddie, even if he has to watch the same animated movies a hundred times. 

“Hello, Diaz boys! Pizza is here!” He yells while closing the door. Eddie is already coming to him, a smile on his face. He is wearing a worn-in T-shirt and sweatpants. He looks relaxed and soft and ador- nope, not now, Buckley. 

“Hey, Buck! Gimme that.” Eddie takes the pizzas and the bag from him. “Go get Chris, he’s in his room. I’ll set the table.” And leaves him standing there.

Buck goes to Chris’ room. The door is open, so he leans against the door frame to watch his favorite boy. Chris is laying on his bed, very concentrated on a drawing he is working on, his tongue sticking out. Buck smiles to himself and knocks on the wood. Chris looks up and jumps. Startled, he quickly covers his work. Weird. 

“Bucky!” Chris goes to him and wraps his little arms around Buck’s middle.

“Hey, bud.” He combs his curls with his fingers, dropping a kiss there. “Go wash your hands, dinner is ready.” He knows better than to press now, even if the curiosity is killing him. Chris obviously won’t tell him, if his reaction is anything to go by. He’ll ask Eddie later.

The night passes by too quickly. They devour the pizza while Chris tells stories about school and Buck shares with him the craziest calls they had this week, keeping it PG. They move to the couch and Chris asks for Moana, his all-time favorite. They settle on the couch, Chris sandwiched between his dad and his Bucky. They sing all the songs. Buck always gets way too excited when Maui sings “You’re welcome”, he even has a choreography. Chris is a giggling mess pressed to his dad’s side while Eddie rolls his eyes. He always promises himself he will record it, but then gets too invested enjoying the show and forgets. Next time, then.

The movie reaches its end and Chris is fast asleep between them. When the credits roll, Buck doesn’t hesitate and takes the sleeping boy in his arms. He puts him in his bed and carefully removes his glasses, setting them on the nightstand. “Sweet dreams, Superman” Buck whispers. He kisses his forehead and walks out of the room, leaving the door open just a crack.

He joins Eddie in the living room, an uncapped beer waiting for him. “He’s out like a light.” Eddie smiles around the bottle as he takes a sip. Buck sits next to him on the couch. Shoulders brushing, thighs pressed together. There’s nowhere else he’d rather be. Next to the man he trusts most, with the boy he loves as his own asleep down the hall. This, right here, right now, is where he belongs, his home. He dreads the day Eddie finally meets someone. The day he would have to take a step back. He knows that day will come. Eddie can’t be alone forever, he will move on eventually. He knows that and yet he’s not ready to let go, to try and get over his feelings for his best friend that are far from requited. Even if he knows his heart will shatter when that day comes, he’s going to enjoy being part of the Diaz family as much as he can.

He’s been quiet for too long, lost in thought. He can feel Eddie’s amused eyes locked on him, so he’s not surprised when Eddie speaks.

“Don’t hurt yourself up there, man. What are you thinking about?”

Buck clears his throat, trying to come up with something to say when a thought pops into his mind.

“Chris acted weird before when I got here.” He turns on the couch, bending his leg so he’s facing Eddie. “I mean, he was working on something and when he realized I was there he hid it as if he didn’t want me to see it.” Eddie furrows his brow, adjusting a bit so he can look at Buck without risking a stiff neck.

“Did you ask him about it?”

“No, I didn’t think he would’ve answered. And I didn’t want to invade his privacy.”

“Oh, man. Are we there yet? I hoped we’d have a few more years before he starts asking for privacy and keeping secrets.” Buck’s heart skips a beat at Eddie’s words, at what that _we_ entails; his presence in the years to come, his involvement in Chris’ teenage years. He takes a sip of his beer, clearing his head.

“Nah, maybe it's just a surprise, who knows.”

“Hmm” Eddie shrugs. “Anyways, tomorrow Abuela is having us over for lunch. I was thinking we could head to the park afterwards, burn everything she will inevitably feed us in excess.” They both smile at that. Abuela won’t let you leave the table without having second servings of everything. “You could stay the night, so we can head to Athena’s together on Sunday for the barbeque. Sounds good?”

“Yep, I’ll pick you up after my breakfast with Maddie tomorrow.”

“Great. So, how’s Maddie doing?”

“She’s very relaxed, actually.” His eyes shine when he talks about his sister. “They are thinking names for the baby. Every day they have a completely different top 3. They are running out of ideas, it’s getting desperate, man. I mean, Chim is two days away from considering names from Game of Thrones.”

“Oh, that’s bad.” Eddie grimaces. “You think you could veto them?”

“Hope so. But I can always ask Hen for backup, one glare and Chim is forgetting the idea in no time.” They both laugh. Buck goes to take a sip of his beer only to realize the bottle is empty. He checks the time on his phone and sighs. “It’s getting late, I should get going.” 

Eddie walks him to the door, giving him a side hug. “See you tomorrow. Text me when you get home.”

“Yes, dad.” Eddie rolls his eyes and shoves him playfully. Buck walks to his Jeep with a smile on his face.

The road from Eddie’s to his loft is almost empty at this time of the night. The stillness of the world around him together with the ease with which he navigates this route leaves room for his mind to mull over the events of the night. Still wrapped in the warmth of the evening his mind wanders, fabricating a future next to Eddie, with a teenager Christopher rebelling against them. The whole 118 fam going through different stages of life together. His niece (cause, let’s be honest, it’s a girl) growing up, being spoiled rotten by him. Embarrassing Christopher in front of his crush. Lazy mornings with Eddie, all domestic. Somehow, they also have a cat. There’s always a cat, it’s like a recurring theme. Does it mean something? Maybe he should get one, you now, fulfill part of his dream. He turns the corner into his street and parks the Jeep in his usual spot.

While opening the door to his apartment, he texts Eddie.

**made it in one piece**

His phone lights up a few seconds later.

**night buckley**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's the first chapter! What did you think?  
> I'm planning on updating every week, we'll see how that goes ;)
> 
> Thanks for reading!!<3


	2. Saturday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there!  
> Here's the second chapter, sooner than expected. Thank you for your kudos and comments on the first chapter!  
> (Translations of the few sentences in Spanish can be found at the end notes)  
> Hope you like it!:)

After his breakfast with Maddie, Buck parks his Jeep in the driveway just as Eddie and Chris step out of their house. He jumps out of the car and takes Chris in his arms for a hug. This boy keeps getting bigger and bigger. The three of them settle in the car and Buck starts the engine.

The drive to Abuela’s is filled with music and off-key singing. The energy in the car, completely different from last night’s.

Abuela greets them with hugs, kisses, and a few concerned comments about their weight. They got earlier so they can help her prepare the food. Not that she needs help, she uses it as an excuse so she can teach them some of her recipes. Her Edmundo may not be the greatest cook, but she trusts Evan to pass on her secrets to Chris. She’s not blind, she has noticed how the blond looks at her grandson and how much he loves Christopher. She can’t imagine a better person to take care of them. Edmundo is a bit dense, but he will get there at his own pace. Although, some nudging never hurt anyone.

Pepa joins them an hour later and sits with Eddie on the kitchen table from where he’s watching Abuela give Buck and Chris instructions. 

“¿Cómo estás, Eddito?” Pepa asks him. 

“Muy bien, tía, ha sido una semana bastante tranqui-” Chris’ loud gasp cuts him off mid-sentence. His eyes follow the sound of his son and he sees a cloud of flour between Buck and Christopher. The room falls silent, all eyes on the flour settling in their hair and on the fallen bag on the counter. Buck is the first to break, with a cackle that sets Chris off. They are both covered in flour, their blond curls turned white.

Abuela turns to Eddie shaking her head, mischievous glint in her eyes. “Tus chicos tienen un peligro…” Eddie blushes and looks at Buck who’s dusting flour from a giggling Chris. He’s moving his fingers over Christopher’s glasses mimicking a windshield wiper. His stomach does this weird thing, a sudden want of something he can’t identify. He must be really hungry.

After cleaning the mess, they set the table. There’s food for twice the people sat at the table. As expected, Abuela is not satisfied until they’ve had two servings and can’t move from the chair.

Once Chris starts getting restless, they stand up and help clean the table and the kitchen. They leave Abuela’s with a full belly, four glass containers, and blessings to be safe. 

Buck drives the Jeep to the park near Eddie’s house. When they reach the playground, Chris starts walking faster. Eddie puts a hand on his shoulder to slow him down. “Be careful, mijo. Buck and I will be on that bench over there, if you need something call for us. Don’t go where we can’t see you.” Chris nods eagerly, “Yes, dad” and sets off to where a girl his age is playing.

“Always making new friends this kid, just like his dad” Eddie shoves him and Buck laughs, making his way to their usual bench and winks at Eddie.

He joins Buck on the bench, sitting right next to him, pressed from shoulders to knees.

“Man, I’m so full. I swear every time we leave Abuela’s I’ve gained six pounds.” Buck says.

“Same. At least one of us is burning it.” He looks at Chris playing with his new friend. “I hope that means he won’t put up a fight at bedtime.”

“You know, if he does go early to bed tonight, we could check out this new show Maddie told me about, Lovecraft Country I think.” Eddie huffs at that, tilting his head back.

“Man, we have to finish The Witcher first! We always leave shows half-way cause we start watching others.”

“But we could alternate.” Buck whines.

“You always say that and yet we haven’t finished a show this year. And we’ve started six!” Buck pouts and Eddie rolls his eyes, they both know he has lost. They focus on Chris playing, their conversation flowing easily.

One hour or so later, a woman approaches Chris and the little girl, who hugs her. Her mom probably. The woman says something to Chris, who in turn, points at them. They stand up in perfect synch and join them in the playground. Eddie is going to introduce himself when Chris beats him to it.

“Dad, Buck! She’s Ruth, Lisa’s mom.”

“Hi” She smiles offering her hand. Eddie takes it.

“Hi, I’m Eddie, Chris’ dad.” She nods and turns to Buck.

“And I’m Buck.”

“Nice to meet you both. Seems like our kids here have become instant friends.” She looks at her daughter with a warm smile. “We are new in the neighborhood and it would be nice for her to have some friends to play with. You mind if we exchange numbers to set a playdate sometime?”

“Of course not.” Eddie answers. “It’ll be great for Chris to play with her too. Give me your phone and I’ll put down my number.” She searches for her phone in her bag.

“So, are you from here?” Buck, the master of small talk, asks her. Maybe Chris got his social skills from him.

“Yes, I was born here.” She hands her phone to Eddie. “I’ve lived my whole live in the same neighborhood and we needed a change of scenery. What about you?”

“No, I’m from Pennsylvania and Eddie and Chris are from El Paso.” 

They chat a bit about the neighborhood, while Eddie puts down his number. 

“Here, I wrote Buck’s info too.” He gives Ruth the phone back.

“Great! I’ll text you so you have my number too. We should get going.” She turns to her daughter who’s still playing with Chris not too far from them. “Lisa, say goodbye to your new friend.” The little girl hugs Chris and turns to her mom.

“Bucky come here!” As soon as Chris calls for him, he excuses himself and walks to Chris. Eddie follows him with his eyes. Lisa joins her mom and Ruth smiles at Eddie.

“It was really nice to meet you, Eddie.” He turns his attention to her. Ruth nods her head to where Buck is crouching down in front of Chris. “You have a cute family.” His brow furrows, eyebrows almost touching. His stomach once again doing this weird thing. He takes a sharp breath in, ready to correct her, but...he doesn’t.

“Uhh thanks.” He rubs a hand along the back of his neck, where the skin has blushed. “Nice to meet you too.” They go and Eddie is left there frozen. His body is stuck in place, but his mind is running a mile a minute. 

Why didn’t he correct her? They are not together and now it's going to be awkward to tell her so. But why did she say that in the first place? Do they look like a couple? Not that he is offended. Buck is very good looking. He is very muscular, he has his charming smile, those big blue eyes, and the cute birthmark. That’s not the point. They are friends and they act like so, he can’t understand why someone would look at them and think they are something more. Yes, they are tactile with each other but that’s because, in their line of work they reach for each other to make sure the other is near and safe, it’s grounding. And, yes, Buck loves Chris as his own and helps Eddie with him as much as he can, but that’s because Buck has a heart of gold and his kid has stolen it. Okay, he can see why she would make that assumption. But why didn’t he correct her? Is it because he liked the idea of Buck being his partner? It’s not the worst thing to imagine. Buck makes him laugh, knows how to handle Eddie when he closes off and Eddie doesn’t feel lonely when Buck is there. Wait. No. He’s just overreacting. He doesn’t have feelings for Buck, they are just too close and, yeah, maybe he feels all tingly when Buck bats his eyelashes at him, but that’s because he’s been alone for a long time. That comment just threw him out of the loop, but that’s it. He’s not going to ruin his friendship with Buck by having feelings that won’t be reciprocated. No. He can’t. It’s too risky.

Buck and Chris are heading his way, so shakes his head, as if that would make these thoughts go away.

“Ready to go, mijo?” He asks Chris, with a forced smile. Buck throws him a questioning look. Nothing gets past him, does it?

On the drive home, Chris talks about the new game he invented with Lisa, something involving lightsabers and rescuing an endangered species from a made-up planet. Buck is engaging with him; asking questions here and there, trying to imagine the universe they’ve created. Eddie is silent next to him, looking through the window and casting glances at Buck. One time, Buck catches him and Eddie looks away, jerking his head. Buck is so going to question him once he has the chance.

Buck parks the Jeep in front of the Diaz household. He helps Chris jump out of the car while Eddie takes the food Abuela sent them away with. Once inside, Buck sends Chris to take a shower and get ready to help him with dinner. He follows Eddie to the kitchen where he is putting the glass containers in the fridge.

“What’s wrong?” He asks Eddie’s back.

“Nothing.” Eddie shrugs without turning. Buck approaches him and touches his shoulder, forcing Eddie to face him. Eddie closes the fridge and turns. Buck is standing in front of him, he hasn’t dropped his hand. The closeness that has never bothered Eddie before is now making him look down, too overwhelmed to stare at Buck.

“Talk to me.” Buck presses, moving his other arm so he has both hands resting on Eddie’s shoulders, keeping him in place. The softness in Buck’s voice and the warmth of his touch are frying Eddie’s senses. He closes his eyes, trying to focus on the conclusion he had reached before. Buck ducks his head getting a better look of his friend’s frown, unsettled by Eddie’s behavior. He doesn’t understand what happened to disturb Eddie to this level. He slides his hands from Eddie shoulders to the juncture of his neck, to ground Eddie (and himself). He is almost cupping Eddie’s neck, his thumbs just above his collarbone, feeling his pulse, which is a bit faster than usual. At this, Eddie looks up, piercing blue eyes staring back at him. Something in his eyes must have given away his internal turmoil cause Buck swallows. The air around them is charged, making breathing hard, Eddie’s lungs feel heavy. Buck takes a step closer. Eddie’s breath hitches. They haven’t broken eye contact. The only thing Eddie can hear is his own heart beating hard in his chest, reverberating in Buck’s thumb. Until a loud crash followed by a cry shatters the spell.

They break apart and run towards the sound. They get to the bathroom, where Christopher has slipped and fallen, taking the curtain with him.

“Chris, what happened?” “Are you ok?” The boy is on the floor, half covered with the curtain. He seems okay. There’s water everywhere, the shower still on.

“I’m okay.” Eddie takes him in his arms, grabbing the towel to dry him off. He kisses his forehead and sits on the toilet, settling his son on his lap. He does seem okay. Buck turns off the tap and crouches next to them, one hand on Christopher’s back. “I slipped and the rail broke, so I fell.” The rail is hanging only by one side. Eddie installed it a few months back when Chris insisted on taking showers by himself. 

“Okay, mijo. I’m sorry about the rail.” Buck knows Eddie is blaming himself, even if he probably bought the safest rail and checked it a hundred times after installing it.

“I’m fine, dad, nothing hurts.” Chris puts his hand on Eddie’s face, in a reassuring gesture. He must have sensed the shift in his dad’s expression.

“Hey, Superman. Why don’t we go put you into your PJ so you can help me with dinner?” Chris nods and Buck takes him from Eddie’s arms, knowing the older man needs a moment to check what happened and put himself together.

While Buck helps Chris get dressed, he checks him for bruises. The boy has nothing and he tells Buck so a few times. He really is okay, it was just a scare. They go to the kitchen and Buck plays music while they prepare dinner. Well, Buck does. Chris is reading the recipe to Buck even if he knows it by heart. He’s making roasted chicken with veggies.

Buck puts the chicken in the oven and sets the timer. Chris goes to his room to play with legos while Buck puts everything he has used away.

He’s cleaning the counter by the time Eddie comes back to the kitchen. Buck leaves the cloth and turns to face Eddie, leaning against the counter.

Eddie is standing in the doorway, jaw clenched and hands in fists. He is forcing his breathing into a normal pattern.

“He is okay, Eddie.” Buck breaks the silence. “It was just a scare. That kid is the strongest person I know.” He offers. It is not enough, it seems. Well, let’s try a more direct approach. “It’s not your fault, Eddie. You know that, don’t you?” Of course, he doesn’t. It’s Eddie Diaz, blaming himself is his number one pastime.

Buck sighs and pushes himself off the counter. He crosses the kitchen to stand in front of Eddie. He can’t help but think of that moment they’ve shared just before. He didn’t imagine it, did he? Anyway, now is not the time.

“It is not your fault, Eddie. And he is okay.”

Maybe it’s the way he repeats it, voice low and insistent. Maybe Eddie’s mind also went back to that moment. Whatever it is, it makes the trick.

“But it is!” Eddie explodes in an angry whisper, knowing well how these walls carry the sound. “I installed it. And even if I had checked it, I clearly did something wrong.” He runs his hand through his hair.

“Eds, please, stop. This is going nowhere. He is okay. You have to stop with the blaming and self-doubting.”

“But I failed him.” Eddie sinks into a chair.

“You once told me you love him enough to never stop trying. So, focus on that, on making sure this doesn’t happen again.” Eddie is staring at him with misty eyes. “We’ll hire someone to install it again. And they can install a few more rails so Chris can move more freely at home.”

Eddie lets out a long sigh. He drops his head in his hands, elbows resting on his knees.

“You are right, Buck.” He doesn’t look up. “It’s just so… hard.” Buck rubs a hand on his back, up and down.

“You are a great dad, Eds.”

The timer goes off. Buck moves his hand from Eddie’s back, caressing his shoulder before stepping away. Eddie’s hand grabs it and squeezes.

“Thanks.” Eddie mutters.

“You know I’ve got your back.” That brings a small smile to his face. Buck turns off the timer and takes the chicken from the oven.

“Woah, that smells delicious.”

“You hired me for a reason.” Eddie scoffs as Buck throws a smirk his way.

The night goes on as if nothing had happened, well, mostly. They enjoy dinner while Chris tells them again about the game he invented with Lisa and this time Eddie engages with him, already thinking about planning a playdate for the next weekend. And if he hovers a bit more over Chris, none of them comment on it.

As predicted, Chris goes to bed without a problem. Eddie and Buck settle on the couch. And if Eddie starts “Lovecraft Country” without thinking it twice, none of them comment on it. The small smile brightening Buck’s face says it all.

After watching two episodes, they call it a day. Buck is retrieving the pillow he usually takes to sleep on the couch when Eddie takes him by the wrist. “Crash with me tonight, I don’t want to hear you complain about your back tomorrow.” Buck follows him willingly. And if he has never offered his bed before (not even after a 24h shift), none of them comment on it.

They get ready for bed in silence, maintaining their distance. They settle on the mattress with their backs to each other, leaving a space between them. A silent agreement to ignore the shift in their relationship, even if it doesn’t go unnoticed to any of them.

Here, laying on Eddie’s bed, Buck can’t but feel a wavering of the line he drew after the rescue at the well. When the earth collapsed on Eddie, he felt the air leave his lungs. As Buck dug an impossible path to get to Eddie, it hit him. He couldn’t do this without him, he was and is irrevocably in love with Eddie Diaz. Since then, he’s been trying to keep this earth-shattering finding to himself, so as not to jeopardize what they have. Most of the time he’s sure of where Eddie stands in their relationship, to him they are friends. Right now, he is not sure anymore. That moment in the kitchen felt too big. He is almost sure Eddie wouldn’t have pushed away if he had leaned in to kiss him. But Eddie was distressed by something, he had been off since they left the park. Maybe Eddie was just feeling vulnerable and didn’t push away cause he needed the comfort. Or maybe Eddie felt something too. Or maybe Buck was just projecting his feelings. Whatever it was, Buck couldn’t risk it. If something were to happen, Eddie has to be the one to cross the line. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ¿Cómo estás, Eddito? -> How are you doing, Eddito?  
> Muy bien, tía, ha sido una semana bastante tranqui-. -> Great, tía, it’s been a quiet wee-  
> Tus chicos tienen un peligro… -> Your boys are a hazard…
> 
> Thanks for reading! <3


	3. Sunday

During the night, the distance they had originally outlined on the mattress has gotten smaller. Eddie is laying on his back while Buck is on his side, facing Eddie. Their combined warmth wrapping them in their sleep. Until Christopher climbs the bed, shaking them awake.

“Daaad! Buuuck! Good morning!” There is no better waking up than to the sight of that bright smile. 

Buck covers his face with his hand, clinging to the last traces of sleep. Eddie reaches for his son, setting him on his chest, wrapped in his arms.

“We’re asleep, mijo.” Eddie fake snores and Chris giggles at his dad’s antics, trying to escape his hold.

“Daaaaad you are not.” He reaches for Buck and shakes him with his small arm. “Buck help me!”

“There’s nothing I can do,” Buck mumbles behind his hands, “except…” with a sudden movement, Buck sits up on the bed, takes Chris from Eddie’s arms and puts him between them, “tickle fight!” Christopher shrieks with laughter as Buck tickles him mercilessly. Eddie joins him, moving his fingers along Christopher’s side.

“Stop! Pleaseee!” Christopher begs and they let him go. Buck and Eddie share a look above him. At the soft expression in Eddie’s eyes, Buck looks away before getting lost in them.

“Okay, Diaz boys!” He gets up from the bed and clasps his hands. “Time for breakfast!” He says as he leaves the room.

“Finally!” Chris follows after him, leaving Eddie alone in bed.

The echo of their laughter still resonating in the bedroom, he can’t but notice the warmth lingering in the sheets, Buck’s scent mixed with his. The events from yesterday on repeat in his mind since last night. The sudden possibility of feeling something for Buck is overwhelming.

Ruth’s implication planted the seed of doubt, disarming him. And now, as if the floodgates of something carefully kept in the back of his mind had opened, he can’t but to overanalyze everything.

Eddie is suddenly aware of how physical their relationship is. Every touch lights his skin on fire, fingers leaving sparks on their way. When he closes his eyes, he can feel the ghost of Buck’s thumbs on his neck, sending shivers down his spine. He feels an irresistible pull towards Buck, there is no doubt. That has to mean something, he can't dismiss it as a simple confusion anymore.

He’s craving Buck’s attention in a masochistic way to test the theory. Which is dangerous. Last night, he indulged himself too much. Reaching for Buck, openly staring at him, leading him to his bed. He can't do this. He needs to be in control of his impulses until he understands the depth of his feelings. Going too far trying to figure it out could make things awkward or uncomfortable with Buck. And that’s the last thing he wants. He covers his eyes with his hands, as a grunt escapes his lips. It’s gonna be a long day.

The morning goes by quickly. After breakfast, Chris goes to his room to read while Buck helps Eddie with the chores he has put off during the week. At some point, Buck checks the time. They need to get ready if they want to get to Athena’s at an appropriate time.

Eddie starts his truck, and they head to the Grant-Nash household.

“I just hope we are not the last ones.” Buck says over the music.

“Yeah, me too. I don’t want to hear Chim’s witty comment.”

“Ten bucks says it’s something about my hair.”

“No, thanks." Eddie takes his eyes off the road to stare at Buck with his most deadpan expression. "I have enough already with one Buck.”

“That’s,” Buck turns his focus to Eddie, who’s now sporting a proud smile, “the _worst_ dad joke you’ve made so far.” Eddie barks a laugh and Buck punches his shoulder.

From the backseat, Chris looks up from the comic he is reading. “Hey, Buck.” He’s got that cute frown he makes when he’s trying to understand something.

“Yeah, bud?” Buck turns on his seat, as much as he can, to face him.

“Frogs are fishes?” Buck’s eyebrows shoot up. What.

“Mmm no, buddy. Frogs are amphibians.”

“But when they are born, they live underwater and they look like fish!” Chris throws up his arm in frustration as if he’s gone over it a few times already. Buck looks lost, mouth agape. Eddie is fighting hard to contain his laughter. Thank god for this kid.

“You make a good point, Chris. I’m no expert in frogs but I’ll look the details up later.” Chris nods, pleased with Buck’s answer, and keeps reding his comic. His Diaz boys are something else.

When they get to the house, they are greeted by Athena.

“Are we-” Buck starts.

“Yes, honey. You are the last ones. Now, come on.” Athena holds the door for them while they enter. Buck kisses her cheek and Eddie gives her the bottle of wine they brought with them. Chris spots Denny and Harry and goes off to join them.

Athena leads them to the patio, where everybody is chatting while Bobby and Michael man the grill. 

“Look who finally decided to show up! Did your fingers get stuck in your hair with all that gel you use, Buckaroo?” Eddie rolls his eyes and Buck winks at him in triumph, making something move in his stomach. So, this is how it’s gonna be, huh. He’s going to spend the day being super aware of every crumb of Buck’s attention thrown his way. Great.

Buck hugs Maddie from the side, kissing her cheek. “You sure you want to have his child?”

“It may be too late to think about that.” She smiles, resting a hand on her belly.

“So, guys, what’s your excuse for being late?” Karen asks them from where she’s perched on Hen’s chair.

“We are not that late!” Buck complains at the same time Eddie actually answers the question.

“We lost track of time cleaning the house.” Which he instantly regrets, spotting Hen‘s mischievous grin.

“How domestic of you.” Karen discretely smacks her wife on the shoulder, but Hen can’t be stopped when she’s teasing them. Sharing a look with Chim, she presses on. “Did you spend the night too, Buckaroo?” Chim snickers at that. In his best attempt to cover his blush, Eddie turns around with the excuse to get them beers. 

“Mmm yeah, we went to the park yesterday after eating at Abuela’s” He hears Buck answer, and Eddie can’t be but glad to have left that conversation.

He grabs two beers from the cooler and approaches Bobby and Michael, offering his help. They thank him but they’ve got it covered, he’s told to join the others, the food will be ready soon.

He makes his way back to the group and stops next to Buck, offering him the beer. The blond is animatedly talking about the Lovecraft episodes they watched last night, moving his hands along with his words. Buck takes the offered beer and throws Eddie a grateful smile, without interrupting himself.

“But the scene in the forest! It was wild, I wasn’t expecting that to happen at all, I even jumped on the couch.”

Eddie notices Buck’s collar is out of place. On instinct, he reaches to fix it and lets his hand linger a few seconds longer than necessary. From the corner of his eye, he spots Chim sending an amused look to Hen. He retracts his hand and busies himself with the label of his beer, ignoring the blush creeping over his neck. Buck, however, seems unfazed by the gesture and keeps talking.

“And the second episode was even crazier!”

Hen stops him right there. “Woah, don’t say anything, we are watching it tonight.”

They steer the conversation to another topic, but Eddie is too lost on himself to keep up with it. Buck proximity is dizzying. The looks they share, the private smiles, the casual touch, everything feels heavier now. During lunch, he keeps to himself, he’s quiet and Buck notices it, throwing worried looks and reaching for him in comfort, which doesn’t help with his case at all. It is just his luck to have this revelation when he is surrounded by people. Not having space to freak out, to calmly go through his feelings, it’s exhausting. He is trying to bottle it up, to compose himself, but he feels exposed and out of control. He needs to keep this to himself, for now at least, until he is sure of what he is feeling. He has to figure it out on his own, it’s the only way he would know it’s true.

At some point in the afternoon, Eddie escapes back inside with the excuse to grab some water. From Athena’s kitchen, he has a perfect view of the patio. The kids are playing a board game on the floor. May, with Nia on her lap, is reading out loud the instructions. Chris’ smile is blinding.

His son is the greatest thing he has, Eddie is so proud of him. Christopher is smart, generous, caring, and sensible. And so strong, he’s been through a lot in his short life and yet, he keeps fighting with an unfaltering spirit. Eddie owes him everything, his son is the reason he wakes up and tries to be better every day. Eddie’s only goal is to give Chris the best life he can. And Christopher is happy and healthy here. That’s why even in the hardest times, Eddie still stands by his decision to move to LA. They have an amazing support system. Abuela and Pepa remind them of their roots, they are the warmth from home he was scared they wouldn’t find. The 118 are his safety net, his family of choice. Carla is a godsend, she helped him find the balance between raising Chris and providing for them. And Buck. Buck who lights up their house, who helps Eddie with the chores and Chris with his homework, who devotes his time to them. Buck is an integral part of his and Christopher’s lives. Wherever this weird state of mind takes him, Eddie won’t put at risk what they have. Not just for him, but for his son too. Chris can’t lose Buck.

“Hey, there you are.” Karen’s voice gets him out of his head. “What’s going on with you? You are quieter than usual.”

“Nothing just lost in thought I guess.”

“Well, if you ever need to talk about it, I’m here for you.” She grabs Eddie’s bicep, giving it a gentle squeeze.

After many playdates between Denny and Chris, Karen has become Eddie’s constant confidant, someone close to him but with an outsider perspective of the job and their drama. She lets him rant about his parents and their expectations. But most importantly, she doesn’t hesitate to call him out on his bullshit when he refuses to accept help.

“Thanks, Karen.”

“Now, let’s join the others. Stop observing the kids like the helicopter dad you pretend you are not.” Eddie rolls his eyes at her, its effect canceled by the smile she brought to his face.

Throughout the rest of the evening, Eddie is more composed and actively joins the conversation. When the sun starts setting, the kids make their way to where the adults are seated in a circle. Denny climbs Hen’s lap, Harry sits on the floor between Athena’s legs and Chris makes his way to Buck, who takes him by the arms and settles him on his lap. Chris makes himself small in Buck’s embrace. Eddies heart does not flip at that, nope.

“Can we go home? I’m tired.” Chris’ voice is muffled by Buck’s shoulder.

“Yeah, buddy.” Buck, combing his fingers through Chris’ curls, looks at Eddie for confirmation. “Let’s help clean up first.”

In perfect sync, the adults clean the table, set the food apart, and put the furniture back in place. Eventually, Bobby shoos them away, it’s getting late and they have a shift tomorrow morning at 8.

Eddie drives his truck back home, Chris already drifting off in the backseat. Buck and Eddie are quiet the whole drive, listening to the radio. Eddie parks the truck as Buck takes Chris from the backseat into the house. Eddie follows behind him, observing how easily Buck moves around their house, helping Chris out of his clothes and tucking him in bed. Eddie lets himself into Chris’ bedroom and kisses his forehead, wishing him sweet dreams. When he steps out, Buck has already gathered his bag and is waiting for him at the door. Eddie walks him to the Jeep.

“You okay, Eds?”

“Yeah, just tired.”

Thankfully, Buck doesn’t press for more. “Okay, see you tomorrow.” Buck pulls him in for a hug, and Eddie goes willingly. The tension drains off his shoulders as he hides his head in Buck’s shoulder, the jittery energy he’s felt the whole day leaving his bones. Buck must notice Eddie’s clinginess but doesn’t comment on it.

Eddie stays in the doorway as Buck drives off. Once in bed, the exhaustion from all the overthinking catches up with him and he manages to fall asleep as soon as his head touches the pillow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! Let me know what you think :)


	4. Monday

Buck gets to the station 45 minutes before his shift starts, he always does. While changing into his uniform he gets into the proper mindset to face the job, and he prefers to do it when no one is around.

Once he is changed, he heads upstairs, where, from the smell of it, Bobby is making coffee. These few moments he shares with his captain are very precious for him. It’s common knowledge that they have a father-son dynamic, with its perks and flaws. So, they use this time to strengthen their relationship, to talk about everything, from smaller things to bigger concerns.

Buck almost tells him about Eddie’s weird behavior this weekend. He’s been quiet and more tactile. Not that Buck minds, cause he doesn’t, like at all. But he doesn’t understand what prompted this introspection on his friend. Buck can only hope Eddie feels comfortable enough to talk to him whenever he’s ready. 

The others join them 20 minutes later. They are all working together today. Eddie and Hen are in for 12h while Chim, Buck, and Bobby have a 24h shift ahead of them.

The day passes by in a blur of minor calls. A stuck elevator, a few small kitchen fires, a kid on a tree (how he got up there is a mystery to us all), and a car crash with minor injuries. Throughout the day, Eddie stays close to him, engaging in every conversation. He seems okay, even if he zooms out a few times.

They are on their way back to the station after a tiring call, a fight in a parking lot that ended with an exploding fire hydrant. The adrenaline hasn’t worn off yet and Buck can’t stay still on the truck. He can’t stand the silence, so he starts rambling pieces of trivia he learned last night.

“Did you know frogs shed their skin every few weeks and then they eat it?” Eddie turns his head and sends him a quizzical look. On the driver’s seat, Bobby shakes his head in amusement.

“No, I can’t say I did.” Chim pops his gum, used to Buck’s random facts.

“Well they do, the skin splits down the middle of the back, and the frog frees its arms and legs,” he moves his hands in an attempt to recreate it, “then they move the skin towards the head to eat it.”

Hen, who was drifting off across from Buck, sits a bit straighter (as straighter as Hen can manage). “What’s up with the frogs, Buckaroo?”

Buck scratches the back of his head sheepishly. Eddie can hardly contain his smile as he answers Hen’s question for him.

“Chris is reading a story about frogs and he asked Buck yesterday about them.” He spreads his legs, so his thigh is pressed to Buck’s.

Hen’s eyes widen in amusement and bites back her smirk as she looks between Buck and Eddie. She wants to make a remark on Buck’s parenting skills, but she senses Buck’s panic, preparing for whatever she’s going to imply. So, Hen takes pity on him, settling for a simple “How cute.” The blond visibly relaxes and sends her a grateful smile.

“Just so you know,” Chim interjects, “I’m sending Daenerys to you whenever she has weird questions about the universe.”

“Don’t you dare,” Hen turns to her friend, menacing look in her eyes, “call your daughter that. I’m calling child services.” Buck snorts and turns to look at Eddie, who in turn joins their thighs closer together.

Chim raises his hands, surrendering. “Chill, woman, I’m just testing names. Maddie didn’t like it anyway.”

“I’m revisiting those names with you before your child is born.” Hen points her finger at him, leaving no room for discussion.

They fall into comfortable silence after that. The rest of the drive, Buck’s restlessness slowly leaving his body, his only point of focus, the warmth where Eddie’s leg is pressed next to his.

Twelve hours into their shift, Eddie and Hen get changed to head home. As Eddie leaves the locker room, bag on his shoulder, Buck is waiting for him. They walk shoulder to shoulder to his truck.

“Are you telling Chris about the kid that got stuck on the tree?”

“I think I’ll save that story for you to tell, your storytelling is far better than mine.”

“Oh, don’t undersell yourself,” Buck claps his back, “I’ve heard you improvise at bedtime enough times already.”

When they reach the truck, Eddie takes him for a hug and Buck goes willingly.

“Be safe,” Eddie whispers to the crook of his neck, sending a shiver down his spine. They slowly break apart, Eddie’s hand gripping Buck’s shoulder. “Don't do anything stupid, I won't be there to keep an eye on you.”

At Eddie’s pointing expression, Buck answers with a mischievous smirk. “Now you are just tempting me.” Buck winks at him and walks backwards to the station, not missing Eddie’s eyes roll nor the soft smile he is hardly containing. 

When Eddie gets home, he is instantly engulfed by the smell of whatever delicious meal Carla has prepared for them. She’s waiting in the living room, reading a book on the couch.

She closes the book and looks up at Eddie when he enters the room. “Hello, baby. Had a good day?”

“Quiet one. What about you?” Eddie bends down to kiss her on the cheek.

“Your kid is in a mood. He locked himself in his room as soon as he finished his homework.”

Eddie furrows his brow. “I’ll talk to him.”

“Good luck with that, I barely could get a word out of him.” She stands up and gathers her things. “Practice for when the teenage hormones kick in.”

“Too soon, Carla.” He shakes his head. “My kid is still a little boy, let me enjoy it.”

“Mmm time flies.” She pats him on the chest on her way to the door. “Good night, Eddie.”

“Night, Carla. Thank you.”

Once Carla has left, Eddie goes to Chris’ room and knocks on the doorframe. Christopher is on his desk working on a drawing very concentrated. 

“Hey, bud, let’s have dinner, I’m starving.” Chris nods and stands up, taking his crutches. When he reaches the door, Eddie drops a kiss on his hair.

Eddie tries a few topics to try and get Chris to participate in the conversation. After a few failed attempts he sticks to eat his meal in silence. He will wait until they’ve had dinner, then. Chris needs space to gather his thoughts. His son is just like him in this aspect, if you press when he’s not ready, he will close up like a clam. Once they’ve eaten the soup Carla had prepared for them, Chris looks up from his plate.

“Do we have pictures of my grandparents?”

“Of course. We took a bunch last time they came to visit, remember?”

After Shannon passed, his relationship with his parents strained to the point of breaking. He felt invalidated by them, furious for the lack of trust in his parenting skills, tired of their constant hovering. Eddie felt tempted to let the relationship break. But Abuela intervened, acted as a bridge between them, and helped them talk things through. Ramon and Helena apologized and are learning to take a step back, to act as grandparents and not as parents, leaving that role for Eddie. So, as long as they continue to grow in that direction, Eddie is more than willing to let them into their lives. After all, he wants Christopher to have the biggest support system possible.

Chris shakes his head. “No, not them. Mom’s parents.”

“Oh… Yes, I think we have some.”

He goes to the closet where he keeps Shannon’s things and retrieves one of the boxes, the one with the albums.

He joins Chris back at the table and rummages through it. He knows its content by heart, so he easily finds some pictures for Chris.

“Here’s your grandma Janet, when you were born.” Janet is holding baby Chris in the hospital room, it was taken the day he was born. “And this one is your grandpa John.” That one is much older, with wrinkled edges.

“Can you tell me about them?” Chris is carefully holding the pictures.

“Well, I didn’t get to know your grandpa but your mom always said he was very generous. And he loved fishing.” He scratches the back of his neck. “And your grandma was very caring and confident. She always made people laugh.”

“I don’t remember her,” Chris says quietly, his voice almost a whisper. “I don’t remember much about mom either.” He ducks his head, sniffling.

Eddie’s heart breaks at that. “Oh, Chris.” He gets up from his chair and reaches for his son, wrapping him in a hug. Chris sobs on his shoulder, clenching his fists on Eddie’s shirt. “It’s okay, mijo.”

When Christopher’s breathing evens out, Eddie leans back, cradling his face with his hands. Chris sniffles and looks at his dad.

“You can always ask me about her, Chris. You know that, don’t you?” He wipes the tears off his cheek. “I need you to know that. We can talk about mom whenever you want. She lives through our memories.” Chris nods and hugs his dad one more time.

Eddie kisses his forehead and takes the seat next to him. He takes one album and goes through the photos, telling Chris the stories behind them. 

Eddie is in the middle of a story about a trip to Austin when Chris turns on his lap and interrupts him.

“Did you love her?” Eddie feels the air leave his lungs.

“What” He drops the picture he was holding on the table. “Of course I loved her, Chris. Why do you ask that?”

Chris is refusing to look at Eddie. “I- You were never together.”

It feels like a punch in the gut. He takes a deep breath and brushes his fingers through Chris’ hair, grounding himself.

“We didn’t know how to be together. In any relationship, loving each other is not enough, you have to put the effort to understand each other and make it work.” He pauses, cradles Chris’ face, and looks at him in the eyes. “I loved your mom, Chris. I- I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you were younger, and that mom and I couldn’t make it work.”

Chris makes himself smaller in his embrace. Eddie kisses his curls and grabs the album. “You want me to tell you more stories?” Christopher nods and they stay there, going through the photos.

When it’s time, Chris goes to sleep without a fight, probably exhausted from their conversation, Eddie is exhausted too. He cleans the kitchen and gets ready for bed. He’s locking up the house when he gets a text from Buck.

**dull night**

**wyd**

**don’t say that you’re gonna jinx it**

He hovers his fingers over the screen before typing the next message.

**Chris asked me if I loved Shannon**

A second later, his screen lights up with an incoming call from Buck. He goes to his room and closes the door before answering.

 _“You okay?”_ He can hear the concern in Buck’s voice.

“Yeah…” Eddie covers his face with his hand as he sits on his bed.

_“You wanna talk about it?”_

“I- I don’t know.” He takes a deep breath. “It just hit me, man. I mean, I loved Shannon, I was in love with her before life got in the way. When we meet in high school, she was my best friend and we fell in love hard. We had planned our life together and we were happy. But then, we found out she was pregnant, and we were too young.” He rubs his eyes, stumbling on his words. “We had to grow up fast but instead of doing it together, we grew up apart. And then I enlisted, and my parents tried to take control, and Chris’ CP, and loving each other felt like a duty, and-”

 _“Breathe, Eddie.”_ He forces down his breathing, pinching the bridge of his nose, and continues, slower this time.

“Chris asked me because he doesn’t have many memories of us together. And I haven’t thought about it that way. But it’s true, the three of us as a family didn’t happen that much. I- I was deployed during his first years and when I came back, Shannon left us a few months later. And then she came back, and I took too long to let her in-” 

_“You took the time you needed back then, no one knew what could happen.”_

“Still, she didn’t want to try again. I feel like a failure.”

 _“You are not, Eddie. You are a great father, a great firefighter, a great grandson, and a great friend. And whenever you find the right person for you, I know you’ll be a great partner too.”_ Eddie swallows, too tired to look into that statement. He has opened the dam and he can’t stop the words spilling out of his mouth.

“You know what makes me feel like shit the most? That I didn’t want it either. I didn’t want her back, but I was too proud and too scared to accept our marriage had failed.” He tries to fight back the tears, blinking them away. “I’m sorry, Buck. I’m a mess.”

_“Don’t be, I’m here for you.”_

Eddie hears some rustling over the phone, and he can distinguish Chim’s voice. _“Is that Maddie?”_

 _“No, it’s Eddie.”_ Buck’s voice is muffled, probably by his hand covering the microphone.

_“Seriously? You’ve just spent 12h together!”_

Some rustling and Buck’s voice comes clearer. _“Sorry, that was Chim.”_

“Yeah, I heard him. Hey, I should let you go back with them.” And he probably should go to bed, he has another shift tomorrow at 8. “I’ve taken too much of your time already.”

 _“Nah, I rather talk to you.”_ The words come out heavier than intended, so Buck rushes to cover the depth of its meaning. _“There’s a limit on how much one can talk about which blue is better for the nursery. They all look the same to me.”_

Eddie chuckles softly and they settle in comfortable silence.

“Thanks for listening to me, Buck.” He’s exhausted from sharing that much. He just poured his frustrations on Buck out of nowhere. In an attempt to lighten the mood, after their charged conversation, he adds, “Don’t tell Frank I spilled my guts to you.”

_“You should find another therapist if you don’t click with Frank.”_

“I don’t need a therapist. I have you.”

_“Yeah, but when you need to bitch about me you should do it with a third party so they can objectively tell you I’m right.”_

Eddie laughs and shakes his head. “I can bitch about you to you directly.”

 _“Oh, do tell.”_ Amusement clear in his voice.

“Like, why do you have to strangle the toothpaste?" Buck barks a laugh. "Or why do you put pineapple on pizza? It’s disgusting, catch up! And you put way too much sugar on your coffee, it’s not healthy, man.”

_“Hey now! Take it easy Diaz!”_

“Just stating facts, Buckley.” He’s smiling wide. “And you snore”

 _“I don’t!”_ Buck protests. 

“You do, it’s cute, but you snore.”

 _“Oh,”_ he can feel the smirk on Buck’s face, _“you think my snoring it’s cute, Edmundo?”_

He’s lucky no one can see the warmth reddening his cheeks. “Fuck off, Evan.”

Buck chuckles and they fall into silence, both of them smiling at their end of the phone.

“It’s a beautiful name, you know.” Eddie says quietly. “Why no one calls you that?”

Buck sighs, _“Only Maddie does, and my parents. I don’t know, I like being Buck.”_

“Evan is still you, though.”

 _“Not sure anymore.”_ He murmurs. _"You can call me Evan if you want.”_ A beat, then, _“just… don’t do it when you are mad.”_

The bell rings. Eddie can hear the movement from his end, the station rushing to answer the call.

Buck is moving too, his voice agitated. _“I have to go.”_

“Be safe, Evan.”

 _“I will.”_ The line disconnects.

Eddie lays back on his bed, phone in his chest as a sigh leaves his body. His mind goes through the conversation with Chris, his past with Shannon, the phone call with Buck, the parallels, and the divergences between them.

His best friends, his confidants, his safe space. Both Shannon and Buck tore Eddie’s walls, making him stronger while being vulnerable, learning to lean on them. But when the struggles came, Shannon and Eddie grew apart, their mutual trust shattered, they became independent individuals.

Meanwhile, with Buck, they’ve learned to communicate, to understand the other’s motives and actions. After everything, they became stronger together, an unbreakable team. Their relationship is more than friendship. Even if he wasn’t aware of it before, he can’t deny it anymore. He feels something for Buck, he knows, he just doesn’t understand it yet.

Eddie doesn’t know where they are headed, but Buck’s presence in his life, in their lives, is something he can’t go without. He won’t.

The weight of all the emotions heavy on his eyelids, he is almost asleep when a text comes through.

**goodnight eds**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's my take on Shannon. I do believe Eddie loved her, she was his first love. They just didn't know how to make it work and they both made huge mistakes. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!! Let me know what you think:)


	5. Tuesday

Eddie wakes up to the insufferable beeping of his alarm. When he reaches to turn it off, his arm freezes with the cold temperature of his bedroom. He wraps himself in the comforter waiting for all his senses to come back online. The room is cold, freezing. The thermometer on his nightstand reads 13 degrees (Celsius, obv, we only accept International System Units in this house) (it’s 55.4ºF for those out there wondering) (it’s cold).

He gets up from the bed, comforter tight around his shoulders, and walks around the house. Every room is freezing, the heating system must have broken overnight. Great. 

Eddie wakes Chris up and rushes through their morning routine, the cold making him grumpy. When Carla has taken Chris to school, Eddie calls the number on the sticker of the controller. The operator tells him someone will go check on it tomorrow at 17h, that’s the earlier slot they have. So, yeah, there’s no way they’re staying here tonight. On top of it all, he’s running late for work.

On his way to the station, he calls Buck, who picks up right away.

 _“Missing me already?”_ Buck’s cheering voice fills the car.

“Not in the mood, man.” He grunts even if his shoulders relax a bit.

_“Uhh what happened to piss you off so early in the morning?”_

“The heater broke last night and the house is cold as fuck.” And some asshole doesn’t know how to change lanes apparently. He grips the steering wheel harder. “I called them, and they are sending someone tomorrow afternoon.”

_“Where are you staying tonight?”_

“I’ll call abuela later in the morning.”

 _“You can stay with me if you want.”_ There’s background noise coming from Buck’s end of the phone, he’s probably driving too. _“You wouldn’t even have to stop at your place. There are some of Chris’ clothes and PJ’s in my closet. And there’s something yours too, or you can borrow mine.”_

“I don’t want to impose. You’ve just finished a 24h, you need to rest.” He finally passes the asshole, and it takes everything he has not to flip him off.

 _“Eds, come on.”_ Buck’s pleading tone draws his attention. _“I have the whole day to rest and I like being with my Diaz boys.”_

Eddie feels warm all of the sudden. He sighs as his grip on the wheel loosens. “Okay. Thanks, Buck.”

 _“Everything for you.”_ The line goes silent. Buck clears his throat. _“You want me to pick up Chris?”_

“No, I- I’ll go. Thanks.” Eddie stutters. “How was your night?”

_“House fire. The call when we were talking on the phone. No casualties but we had to get the whole family out.”_

“You alright?”

 _“Yeah, just tired. I hate going into burning buildings without you.”_ Exhaustion has rendered his brain to mouth filter out of service, and Buck can’t risk another honest confession slipping out of his lips. _“I’m almost home. Have a good shift, talk to you later.”_ He rushes.

“Thanks. Bye, Bu-” The line goes dead before a confused Eddie can say anything else.

He doesn’t have time to dwell on it as he’s already parking his car at the station.

Chris is working on his homework at the table in Buck’s kitchen while Buck and Eddie discuss what they are having for dinner. Chris asks Buck for help with a problem when someone knocks on the door. Eddie arches a questioning eyebrow at his friend, who just shrugs back.

Eddie opens the door to Maddie standing in the hallway.

She tilts her head in confusion. “Hi, Eddie.”

“Hi, Maddie. How-” Before he can say anything else, Buck’s voice interrupts him from behind. 

“Mads! Oh ffffffff-“ he catches himself before finishing the bad word, knowing Chris could hear him. “I totally forgot,” he rubs his hands, looking at his sister with a sheepish smile. “Come in.”

Maddie enters the house and Eddie closes the door behind her. When Chris sees her, his face lights up, and he receives her kiss with a bright smile.

“Hey, Chris. Are you working on your homework?”

“Yes, Buck is helping me.” At that, Maddie turns to her brother who is standing behind the counter.

He takes a deep breath and says in one beat. “Soooooo, Eddie’s heater broke and they are fixing it tomorrow so I told him this morning they could crash here tonight and I seem to have forgotten we had Buckley night.” He smiles at her sister with his best innocent look.

Eddie pipes in. “We can go to Abuela’s, she won’t mind.”

Maddie shakes her head. “Oh, no, Eddie. Don’t worry, I’ll leave you to it.”

“But no one has to leave,” Buck pleads, “there’s enough food for all of us,” flashing his baby blues at them.

When they agree, Buck punches the air in victory. Chris laughs, Maddie shakes her head and Eddie rolls his eyes.

Buck gets started on dinner, Eddie next to him helping with the easiest tasks. Maddie is on the stool chatting with them. Chris has finished his homework and is watching TV on the couch.

Eventually, Maddie gets uncomfortable and gets up from the stool and heads to the couch, leaving the pair to their conversation.

“I’m joining you,” taking a seat next to Chris, “you are more fun.”

Chris turns to her with a serious frown. “Maddie, can I ask you something?”

“Of course, Chris. What can I help you with?”

“What are your parents’ names?” Her eyebrows shoot up in surprise. That’s not what she’s expecting at all. She recovers quickly and covers her shock with a smile.

“Umm… My mom’s name is Rachel, and my dad’s Thomas.” Chris nods, saving the information in his head. “Why do you want to know?”

“We have to do this project for school,” he takes a paper from his school bag and shows it to her, “where we have to draw a family tree, up to three generations.” Maddie furrows her brow as he shows her his work in progress. It’s a drawing with three family lines converging to the drawing of a little boy with red glasses at the top.

One of the lines coming out of the boys is connected to a woman with a pretty yellow dress, her name written under the drawing, Shannon. Her line goes down as far as her parents.

The other line, the one in the middle, is Eddie’s. His sisters are there, Adriana and Sophia, on the same level as him. Coming out of them, there are two lines, their parents, Ramon and Helena. Even if the project is only three generations, Christopher has squeezed his Abuela in it, a line coming out of Ramon.

The last line connects the little boy with the drawing of a man with blue eyes and two pink dots. Buck. Maddie’s breath catches in her throat. Not too long ago, her brother was questioning his place in the world, convinced he didn’t belong with anyone, that he was alone. Yet, there he is, a stick figure in Chris’ family tree.

Now that she thinks about it, she can’t separate the Diaz boys from Buck. She thinks back to every time Buck’s spent his free time with them, the science projects he helps Chris with and takes way too seriously, the time he told her he’s not a guest at the Diaz household. He’s basically co-parenting Chris with Eddie.

She knew Buck had a crush on Eddie at the beginning, but she hadn’t given it much thought. This is bigger, this is huge. It’s not a stupid crush, some unresolved sexual tension, this is Buck and Eddie building their own family. 

“I drew you too.” Chris says, breaking her train of thoughts. His finger is pointing to the drawing next to Buck’s, a woman with long wavy hair. God, this kid. He’s looking at her with expectant eyes, looking for her approval.

Maddie’s heart is gonna explode, she looks at him with a watery smile. “I- I love it, Chris. I really like the top you’ve chosen for me, green is my favorite color.” Chris smiles at the praise, proud of his work.

“Can you tell me something about your parents so I can draw them?” He asks shyly.

“Yeah…” She swallows, keeping the tears at bay. “My mom looks like me and my dad has blue eyes just like Buck’s, but with gray hair and he’s shorter.” At least, that’s how they looked like the last time she saw them, they haven’t talked to each other since before she escaped Doug.

She tilts her head. “Why didn’t you ask Buck?”

“It’s a surprise for him and dad, you can’t tell them,” he whispers. Maddie moves her fingers over her mouth zipping her lips and winks at him. Chris smiles and adds, “and he gets sad every time I ask him about his parents, but I have to draw them to complete the tree.”

Maddie’s heart breaks at that. Buck’s relationship with their parents is more strained than hers. Something happened when she left for college, and to this day he refuses to talk about it.

She kisses his curls. “It’s beautiful, Chris. They are going to love it.” This kid is a national treasure.

While they have dinner, Maddie can’t stop observing how they behave around each other. Like when Chris turns to Buck for help with his food and Eddie does not even flinch, except for the twitch of his lips as he keeps chatting with Maddie.

Or when Eddie excuses himself to answer his phone and Chris taps Buck’s bicep. “Can we watch a movie before bed?”

“No, bud.” Buck answers apologetic. “You know dad doesn’t want you to watch movies on a school night.” Chris just pulls his bottom lip out.

Buck is unfazed. “Don’t pout and finish your food.” Chris purses his lips but does as told.

And Maddie is just struck by the domesticity of that exchange. Eyes wide, she turns to her brother and mouths “dad”. Buck furrows his brow, oblivious, as if dropping the “your” is not the most intimate thing, reserved only for those with the closest bond to both parent and kid. She’s questioning him as soon as she has the opportunity. 

Which she gets as Buck walks her out. They are waiting on the street for Chim to pick her up. When she finds an opening on the conversation, she takes her chance. 

“So,” trying to sound as casual as possible, “you and Eddie?”

Buck freezes. “What”

“Don’t play dumb,” she turns to face him, crossing her arms, “I’ve spent the whole evening with you. There’s something there.”

He shakes his head. “We are just friends.”

“That right there is not just friends.” Buck purses his lips and refuses to look at her. When the silence is getting too heavy, she adds quietly, “you want more, don’t you?”

He lets out a heavy sigh, tilting his head back. “Mads, please...”

She grabs his arm, forcing him to face her, “I think you should tell him.”

“I’m not gonna ask for more,” voice quivering, “and he doesn’t feel the same.”

“I disagree. I think he does, the way he looks at you… He’s always acted differently around you, Evan.”

“He has never acted on it.”

“Maybe he wasn’t ready, he may surprise you.”

“Either way, it’s his move.” His tone final. Maddie nods and squeezes his arm, she won’t press for more.

Chim pulls over right then and Maddie hugs his brother.

“Thanks for dinner.”

“Love you, Mads.” 

He waves at Chim as Maddie gets in the car and waits until they’ve turned the street.

When he gets back, Chris is already sleeping on the pull-out mattress Buck bought for him months ago. Eddie is cleaning the dishes on the sink. Buck grabs a towel and sits on the counter close to his friend. He takes the dishes from Eddie and dries them, stacking them up on his left.

They work in silence, Buck shaking Maddie’s words out of his head. He doesn’t need to get his hopes up, his sister just likes to meddle in his life. He’s so lost in his own thoughts he doesn’t notice Eddie moving.

His drying a dish when Eddie settles between his open legs, taking the towel from his grasp. Buck swallows, watching his friend dry his hands with the towel and then dropping it on the counter. Eddie tilts his head up and rests his hands on Buck’s knees, thumb absentmindly brushing the inner seam of his jeans. Their eyes lock, they stare at each other in silence. Buck feels his pulse speed up with anticipation, Eddie’s hands sending electricity through his body.

But then, Eddie lowers his head, breaking eye contact. He steps back, giving a light squeeze to Buck’s right knee.

Eddie lets out a loud exhale. “I- I’m gonna get ready for bed.”

“Yeah,” Buck clears his throat, “go ahead, I’ll be right up.”

Eddie nods and heads upstairs. Buck is left there, on the counter, dried dish still on his hands. He takes a gulp of air, his body lacking oxygen. He can feel the phantom of Eddie’s touch on his legs. Fuck, so much for not getting his hopes up.

When he gathers the courage to walk up the stairs, he finds Eddie already sleeping on his bed.

He changes and settles on the mattress. He turns to look at his friend, whose chest moves in a peaceful rhythm and lets out a sigh. “Night, Eddie.” Buck whispers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick reminder that English is not my first language and I proofread this on my own, so sorry if there are too many mistakes. 
> 
> Who else is way too excited for season 4? My clown makeup is ready for January 🤡
> 
> Thanks for reading!! Let me know what you think :)


	6. Wednesday

Buck wakes up to something heavy pinning him down. Gradually, he gains consciousness of his surroundings and his body.

He’s on his bed, laying down on his back. He blinks his eyes open and crooks his neck up a bit to inspect the extra weight on his body. There’s a tanned arm on his chest, a hand curled in a fist on his T-shirt, and a long leg tangled in his. He leans his head back on the pillow and closes his eyes trying to control his breathing, which is a mistake cause now he can only focus on the warm puffs of air on his neck where Eddie has hidden in his sleep.

Buck hopes his loud beating heart doesn’t wake his friend up. He basks in the warmth Eddie’s body is providing, the way their legs fit together, the graze of Eddie’s scruff on the juncture of his neck, tickling every time one of them breathes. But mostly, he relishes the tight grip on his T-shirt, anchoring them together. Eddie has searched for him in his sleep and unconsciously has made sure Buck can’t move, can’t go away, can’t let go. 

And Buck wouldn’t. He could stay like that for the rest of his life. But he has to get out of bed before Eddie opens his eyes. He’d rather remember this moment like this than to taint the memory with Eddie’s most likely uncomfortable reaction to their overnight cuddling. So, he carefully untangles himself trying not to disturb him.

Buck is on the stove, preparing breakfast when two calloused hands settle on his hips. He tenses immediately, startled. He inhales slowly as Eddie presses his chest to Buck’s back, chin coming to rest on his shoulder. 

“Mmm smells good.” Eddie comments, voice thick with sleep.

Buck is trying not to burn the eggs with Eddie’s proximity frying his senses. He knows Eddie can’t really function without caffeine in his veins, so he’s probably still half-asleep and not aware of how intimate this embrace is.

Buck clears his throat, restraining himself from leaning back. “At what time are they fixing your heater?”

“Five.” The blond doesn’t need to look at him to know his eyes are closed.

“You want to take one car?”

Eddie exhales, giving Buck’s skin goosebumps. “I think we should take both,” mumbles, not awake yet, “I know you like to get earlier to the station, and I can drop Chris off.”

Buck nods. “I can pick him up later, so you can go straight home and be there before five.”

“Okay,” Eddie agrees, “I’m gonna wake up Chris.” Eddie squeezes his hips and turns his head, letting his lips brush a fleeting kiss on Buck’s cheek before stepping back.

Eddie has taken four steps when his mind catches up with his body. He freezes in place, his actions dawning on him. Fuck. Suddenly awake, he curses himself, blaming his foggy asleep brain for kissing Buck. He turns his head to look at the man in question, who is cooking on the stove, his back to Eddie, seemingly unfazed. (He’s not, he is freaking out. He’s just doing a great job of looking casual).

When the three of them sit to eat breakfast, the silence is deafening. The sound of the cutlery reverberating on the walls. Chris is munching on his food, unaware of the tension between the adults. Buck and Eddie are pointedly avoiding each other’s gaze.

They get ready and part ways, Eddie takes Chris to school while Buck heads to the station.

Eddie gets to the station just in time for the beginning of his shift. He jogs up the stairs to join his team, Bobby would be soon handing out tasks for the day.

Buck and he haven’t talked that much since the kiss incident this morning. Nor looked at each other for that matter. It seems as if they’ve made a silent agreement not to talk about it, but he feels some awkward tension hanging in the air between them.

He blames his stupid caffeine-addicted brain, which only has the decency to properly work after the first drop of coffee enters his system. And his confused feelings, he’s blaming them too. He’s overanalyzed everything so much and has craved Buck’s proximity to such level that his treacherous subconscious got carried away.

When gets upstairs, they are all spread out on the couches. He locks eyes with Buck, who holds his gaze. He doesn’t know how long they stare at each other, but eventually, Buck smiles at him softly and nods, ‘we are okay’. Eddie twitches the corner of his lips up, ‘we are’. He moves to sit next to Buck, his stomach stirring when Buck knocks their knees. 

The day goes on as if nothing had happened. Buck didn’t overreact, which is great. Except it’s not, because Eddie is overreacting now.

He is glad nothing has changed between them, that he hasn’t messed up. But, deep down, he can’t help but feel frustrated, and a bit disappointed, because Buck isn’t as affected as he is. He’s acting as if everything is normal between them, not holding back on his affection, touching him as always, even more. While Eddie, Eddie is flustered.

Every time Buck touches him, Eddie’s skin tingles. Every smile Buck throws his way makes his stomach swoop. And every time Buck bats his eyelashes at him, Eddie feels a blush cover him from cheeks to neck. 

Eddie is so absorbed in himself, in keeping his reactions in line, he doesn’t notice any of the pointed glances Chim and Hen are constantly sending each other.

When their shift finishes, Eddie is more than happy to get out of there, have some space for himself. He changes quickly into his civies and rushes out the door, squeezing Buck’s shoulder on his way out. “See you at home,” and goes, not waiting for an answer, not sensing Buck following him with his eyes.

When Buck parks the Jeep at Chris’ school, he spots the boy at the gates talking animatedly with one of his friends. Ms. Flores (‘Buck, please, call me Ana, we are the same age’), Ana is there supervising the class till the parents pick their kids up.

Buck gets out of the car and waves at her, she answers with a sweet smile.

As soon as Chris sees him, he yells, “Bucky!”

“Hey, Superman.” Buck crouches and hugs him, refraining from planting kisses all over his face. “Ready to go?”

“Yes, just one sec.” Chris turns to his friend as Ana approaches him.

“Before you go, remember the art show starts at 20h this Friday.” Buck tilts his head in confusion, knitting his brows. “You know, the parents’ night we are having this Friday. We sent Chris with a pamphlet last week.”

Buck scratches the back of his head. “I- I didn’t know.”

“Oh, well, it’s so the kids can show you the projects they’ve created these past few months,” she explains.

“Sounds nice,” it really sounds nice, he wishes he could go. He forces a smile, “I’ll tell Eddie.”

“I hope I’ll see you both then. It starts at eight, don’t forget.” Buck nods and she walks away, leaving him there on the spot, confused. Why would she expect him to go to parents’ night?

Once they get to the house, Chris goes straight to his bedroom. He’s halfway there when Eddie appears in the hallway.

“Hello to you too, mijo!” He says with an amused voice.

Chris doesn’t stop, he just turns his head to answer. “Hi, dad.” Eddie rolls his eyes, a fond smile on his face.

“It’s warm in here.” Buck catches Eddie’s attention, who turns his head to look at his friend.

“Yeah, they were very efficient.” It’s true, they fixed it in under 20 min.

Buck follows Eddie to the kitchen. “I talked to Ana, she told me to remind you about the art show on Friday.”

“Fuck,” he grimaces, “I totally forgot. Chris gave me the pamphlet last week.” Buck shrugs a bit uncomfortable, avoiding Ana’s assumption that he would go too.

“At what time is it?” Eddie asks, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge and leaning against the counter.

Buck rests his weight on the back of a chair, facing his friend. “It starts at eight.”

“Great, we can go right after our shift,” Buck stares at him, frowning, “I think we can get there at 8:30 or so. Carla can take Chris.”

“You want me to go?”

“Of course,” as if it were obvious, “Chris probably wants to show you his projects. And you helped with half of them,” adds softly. Wait. Is Eddie blushing? He is. He tries to cover it clearing his throat. He looks up, smirking. “It’s your time to shine. Maybe even get some feedback so you can do better next time.” The bastard winks at Buck.

“Asshole.” He tries to sound offended, but his lips betray him, turning into a bright smile on his face. Eddie barks a laugh.

They fall into a comfortable silence. The light coming through the window has rearranged so no shadow falls on Eddie. As if the sun were playing favorites, reserving all its energy for him, so he could be the spotlight, the main focus, all eyes are drawn to him. Buck can’t look away.

Eddie must’ve felt the pair of eyes on him. He catches Buck’s gaze and smiles. Buck is breathless, mesmerized by his man. He longs for him. He wants to cut the distance between them, take two steps, cradle his face, and kiss him.

And something tells him Eddie wouldn’t pull back.

Maddie’s conversation, the embrace they woke up in, the fleeting kiss, the soft smiles, Eddie’s vulnerability these last few days. A spark of hope flares inside him.

Maybe Maddie was right, and Eddie is ready. Or halfway there, at least.

So, Buck is going to make sure Eddie knows where he stands. That way, whenever Eddie feels like taking the step, he will know Buck will be there to catch him.

But for now, he's giving Eddie the space he needs to process, to gather his feelings. He knows his friend needs it, the quietness to understand himself.

So, he pushes himself from the chair and claps his hands. “I’m gonna head home.”

Late at night, Buck’s phone lights up.

**sneak peek for Friday night**

**attached: img_111220.jpeg**

It’s a drawing of a huge frog with a crown standing over an underwater city, fishes looking up at their queen in horror. It’s cute, disturbing but cute.

**hey**

**spoiler**

**he’s super excited for us to go to his art show**

**I’m excited too**

**thanks for inviting me**

**I want you there**

Buck sucks in a breath, blinking to make sure those four words are really there. Before he can muster a reply, another text pops up.

**u could cook us something for dinner**

He snorts. Eddie always manages to break the tension when the air is charged, it’s one of his superpowers. Buck plays along.

**you only want me for my food**

**busted** **😉**

**night buck**

**night**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was tempted to add Chris’ drawing, but I’m sparing the world from such monstrosity. 2020 is bad enough by itself, you’re welcome (also I don’t know how to attach images).
> 
> Thanks for reading!! I hope you liked it, let me know what you think, comments make my day :)


	7. Thursday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes I feel like I’m creating a new language, I don’t even know English anymore, I just put words together and hope they somehow work. Forgive my improvised mix of letters, I hope they make sense. I just want these two to be together, proper grammar be damned.  
> (does it rhyme? should I write poetry now?)
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!!

Buck starts the day in the best of moods. He gets to the station with the brightest smile on his face. He changes into his uniform and joins Bobby for their early chat.

They talk about May going through the 911 operator training, their plans for the next weekend off, and new recipes they could try together. Buck doesn’t drop his smile for a second. Eventually, Bobby can't contain himself anymore and asks him about his obvious good mood.

“You seem really happy today, kid,” clearly amused.

From the brim of his mug, Buck shrugs. “I guess.”

“Something I need to know?” Bobby raises his eyebrows in a knowing tilt.

“Not really.”

Right then, Hen’s voice comes into earshot, and soon enough, she and Eddie appear on the loft. Buck’s gaze is instantly pulled towards Eddie, who catches him looking, and can’t hardly contain the shy smile appearing on his face. 

A hand on his shoulder startles Buck, breaking eye contact and turning to Bobby. “Just come get me whenever you’re ready,” winks at him, “there are some forms you’ll have to sign.”

Buck’s eyes go wide and Bobby chuckles, as he goes to his office.

The morning passes by in a blur of minor calls. Buck can’t help himself and reaches for Eddie as much as he can without making it too obvious (and failing). Eddie leans into his touch every time. And when Buck’s gaze gets too meaningful, he ducks his head trying to cover his blush.

Hen and Chim are having a field day, texting each other, and even taking pictures of their two dumb friends for future teasing (Karen is perched to her phone, too invested in the constant updates Hen is sending her) (Bobby can’t help it either and texts Athena now and then). Luckily, they leave them alone. They must’ve sensed they are on the verge of tilting their relationship for good, so they are giving them space.

They’ve just finished eating lunch when the bell rings.

On the firetruck, Bobby’s voice informs them through their headphones. “Woman, 56, hit her head with the edge of the pool. She’s lost consciousness once already.”

When they get there, a tall and big man is waiting for them at the door of their huge house. He’s freaking out, his eyes filled with panic. He quickly introduces himself, he’s Henry, Kate’s husband, and guides them inside. They follow him through a long hallway to the indoor pool, where Kate is leaning against a wood lounger near the pool, pressing a blood-stained towel to the back of her head.

Hen and Chim crouch in front of her assessing the severity of the injury, she’s got a nasty cut on the back of her head. The husband is moving in circles, tears in his eyes, and hyperventilating. “It’s my fault, it’s my fault,” he repeats frantically.

Chim tries to get Kate to talk to check if she’s responsive but she stutters, her eyes rolling back and losing consciousness again. Quickly, Hen and Chim work on getting her stable again.

The husband lets out a crying shout, and his breathing becomes even more erratic. He tries to get closer to his wife, but Buck stops him. Henry jerks away from Buck’s hold, losing balance and falling into the pool.

Buck jumps in to get him out. The water is warm, the pool is deeper than it seemed from the surface, his feet not touching the ground. Henry is not far from the edge, flailing his arms, trying to keep himself afloat, but failing. He is having a panic attack and swallowing more water than air.

Buck approaches Henry slowly from the side, talking to him as not to spook him. He’s about to grab him from the middle to take him to the edge of the pool, when Henry starts jerking violently, trying to get rid of the hold. In one of his abrupt movements, his elbow impacts Buck’s throat, cutting his breath. Buck makes a choking sound, gasping for air, when a hand on his shoulder pushes him down, underwater. Buck is trying to break free, to reach the surface but Henry is forcing him down, using his hold on Buck to stay afloat. Buck’s lungs are burning, aching for oxygen. A kick to his stomach is what ends up triggering him. All at once, the force of the water is stronger than him. He can only feel the lack of air making him dizzy, the sudden pain on his body from random objects colliding against him, and the unbearable fear for Chris’ safety.

He’s pulled from the water by strong arms around his middle. He breaks to the surface and the oxygen hits his lungs, taking a loud gulp of air.

Bobby’s voice in his ear, “I’ve got you, kid,” grounding him, “breathe.” He does as told, taking in his surroundings. He’s no longer in the pier, he’s in a stupid expensive indoor pool. He leans his head against Bobby’s shoulder, and let’s out a shaking long exhale.

Bobby guides him out of the water and wraps him in a towel. “Are you okay?” Buck nods and looks around. Henry is sitting on the lounger, Eddie in front of him helping him calm down. The others are nowhere to be seen. “Hen and Chim took the wife to the hospital,” Bobby must’ve read his mind, “she’s stable.”

Eddie turns his head to look at him, concern clear in his eyes. They all probably figured out what kept him underwater so long. Buck tries a smile to reassure his friend, but only a grimace comes out. 

Back in the station, Bobby orders him to take a hot shower and change into something comfortable, he complies.

Still shivering, he lets the hot water wash over him, doing his breathing exercises. He’s been doing a lot better recently. The nightmares are less frequent, his flashbacks don’t paralyze him that much, and the waves don’t trigger him anymore. Besides, he’s gotten better at managing his anxiety and panic, controlling his breathing, and focusing on what’s in front of him.

But today, he was drowning, without air in his lungs and the weight not letting him up, the memories came back to sank him. And yet he’s proud of himself. He could come back easily from his state of panic, orienting himself back in reality. He’s come a long way.

When he gets upstairs, his body feels heavy with exhaustion, he’s still a bit shaken. He’s heading to one of the couches when Eddie takes him by the wrist.

He guides Buck to the longer couch and sits on one end. Putting a pillow on his lap, Eddie pats the spot next to him. Buck furrows his brows so Eddie just maneuvers him to lay down, guiding him to rest his head on the cushion. Buck goes willingly.

Once settled, he turns to his side and burrows closer, hiding his face in Eddie’s stomach. He closes his eyes and lets out a long breath. Eddie’s fingers massaging his scalp lull him into a dreamless sleep.

When he wakes up, he feels lighter. Opening his eyes, he is met with Eddie looking at him fondly. His fingers are still on Buck’s hair, and he’s holding a book with his other hand. Buck indulges himself with a few more minutes in this position, and Eddie doesn’t seem to mind, resuming his reading and the combing.

Sometime later, when Buck’s is dozing off again, the fingers on his hair travel to the nape of his head, a thumb gently pressing behind his ear. A whimper escapes his lips and Buck jerks up mortified. Eddie is looking at him with an amused glint in his eyes, suppressing a grin. “I thought we could call Chris. Carla should have taken him home already.”

Buck clears his throat and nods, avoiding Eddie’s gaze and the warmth on his cheeks. He sits up leaving a space between them, feeling like he’s already taken too much. Eddie is having none of it, he scoots over till their thighs are pressed together and connects the call.

They talk to Chris for 30 minutes, the anxiety is mostly gone. When they hang up, Buck drops his head against the backrest and exhales. “Thanks, it’s just what I needed.”

Eddie squeezes his knee as Hen joins them, taking a seat on the couch on their right.

“Hey, Hen. How was Kate?” Buck asks.

“She’s stable, some stitches and they are keeping her overnight to check on her.” Hen picks up the controller and starts the game, Chim joining her.

No calls come through for the rest of the day, so they just chill on the couches. Hen beats Chim mercilessly every time, making fun of him when he loses even cheating. Athena stops by before heading home to grab a coffee with Bobby. She rolls her eyes at Chim and Hen’s childish behavior and drops a kiss on Buck’s head, before joining his husband. And Eddie, Eddie doesn’t leave his side.

With the easy banter, his friends’ laugh, Eddie’s warmth next to him; Buck feels like himself again.

Once the shift ends, Buck is closing his locker already changed back in his civies, when Eddie grabs his elbow. “Follow me home,” and Buck, he just does.

As soon as they open the door, they can hear the distinguishable click-clack of Chris’ crutches getting closer.

“Daaad!” Chris yells, Eddie will never get tired of how excited his son gets when he gets home.

“Hey, buddy, I brought a surprise.”

Chris appears in the hall and lights up. “Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!”

“Superman!” Buck scoops him in his arms and peppers kisses all over his face. Chris shrieks and covers Buck’s mouth with his hands.

Carla joins them, her purse on her shoulder. “Hi, boys. I gotta go pick up my husband,” she turns to Chris with a pointed look before opening the door, “this mister has to finish his homework.” Chris sighs making them laugh. She kisses Eddie’s cheek, lingering a bit to whisper, “I leave you both in good hands,” and goes.

Eddie blushes and catches Buck’s gaze on him, a questioning tilt on his eyebrows. Eddie shakes his head and turns to his son. “You heard Carla, go finish your homework.”

“But I want to play with Buck!” he whines.

Eddie fixes him with a serious glare. “You will once you’ve finished your homework.” Chris sighs, rolling his eyes, and turns to his bedroom.

“Uhh teen Chris is gonna be fun.” Buck grimaces, amused.

Eddie throws his arms up. “Why is this a recurring theme now?”

Buck laughs and follows Eddie to the living room. Eddie sits on the right end of the couch and Buck plops down next to him.

“The Witcher?” Eddie asks as he turns on the TV.

They are halfway on the episode when Buck’s phone buzzes in his pocket. He grabs it, unlocking it to check the text. When he opens it, his eyes widen comically, and he barks a laugh.

Eddie turns to him confused. “What?”

“Nothing, nothing.” Buck shrieks.

“What is it, Buck?” A small smile on his face, infected by his friend’s laugh.

“It’s just something Sophia sent me.”

Eddie’s eyes flare with jealousy. “Why are you talking to my sister?” Voice coming a bit harsher than intended, but Buck doesn’t seem to notice.

“We send each other photos of you two.” Okay, that’s cute. But that doesn’t explain why Buck is losing it. Oh fuck. His eyes widen in panic. Which photos is Sophia sending? Not the ones with the purple leggings. Please, not those ones. Fuck, it’s probably one of those. He’s gonna kill her.

“Let me see it.” He goes for Buck’s phone. 

“No, it’s private.” Buck gets it out of his reach, stretching out his left arm away from Eddie.

“It’s not private if it's a photo of me.” Eddie takes him by the right arm, trying to get better leverage. 

“It’s my conversation and it's private.” Buck slaps Eddie’s grip on his arm.

“Let me see it, Buck.” He groans, pushing Buck against the couch.

“No.” Buck is laying down, stretching his arm so Eddie can’t take the phone.

Eddie moves to immobilize him, straddling Buck’s legs. “Gimme the phone.”

“Never.” Eddie leans down, his focus on Buck’s hands above his head. He reaches for the phone, holding Buck’s arms with a grip on his wrists. Buck stops fighting to get free, his hold on the phone losing strength. Eddie is about to proclaim victory when he looks at his friend.

Buck’s laugh has quieted down, in fact, the whole room seems to have fallen silent. In contrast, the sound of their heavy breathing fills every inch of space. The static energy surrounding them pierces his skin, taking control of his body.

Slowly, Eddie frees his hold on Buck, moving his right hand to caress Buck’s face. He traces a line with his thumb from Buck’s brown to his cheekbone, stopping to inspect his birthmark, following his finger with his eyes. Eddie hears, more than sees, Buck swallow.

He moves to his jaw, outlining it from ear to chin. Once there, he dares to brush Buck’s bottom lip. Buck’s hitching breath gives him the courage to tilt his chin, using his hand already placed there, and takes Buck’s bottom lip between his teeth, nipping it softly.

Eddie pulls back to look at his friend, tugging the lip with him a bit. Buck’s eyes are closed, his lips are parted and pink and inviting.

Buck opens his eyes and Eddie is met with blissful devotion painted in blue. He can read Buck’s desire, hope, and fear. He wants to show him they are in this together.

Buck grabs Eddie’s bicep with his left hand. His right one moving to the back of his neck, fingers lightly scratching his scalp, earning a pleading sound from Eddie’s mouth.

Eddie comes down slowly, Buck’s hand guiding him. Their lips brushing, their breaths mixing, nothing else matters. Buck tilts his head up to finally close the gap, his heart hammering in his chest.

“Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad”

Eddie jerks back, sitting on Buck’s lap. From the sound of Chris’s voice, he isn’t in pain nor afraid. Eddie is against shouting from room to room, but he’ll make an exception.

“What, Chris?” His voice hoarse. He can’t get his eyes away from Buck’s, pupils blown wide. His heart is hammering and Buck’s is no different, he can’t feel it from where he’s resting his hands on his chest. Buck licks his lips and Eddie almost loses his balance.

Chris’ voice comes from his room. “Come, please.”

Buck strokes his thighs, burning him through the fabric of his jeans, “Go,” voice also broken.

Eddie nods, breathless, “I’ll be right back.”

He doesn’t know how he makes it to Chris’ room, his heart is beating hard and there’s a heat in his stomach he hasn’t felt in a long time. He stops right outside the door to gather himself, pushing all down so he can focus his attention on his son.

He clears his throat, “What’s up, buddy?”

Chris is on his bed, clutching his plushie. “There’s a spider.” He’s pointing at the far corner of his room. And yes, there’s a spider. A huge one. Ugh.

“Okay, kid. I’ll take care of it,” taking a bunch of papers and rolling them. He opens the window and then crouches in front of the spider. It’s gross. He hates spiders. The spider gets on the paper roll and Eddie goes to the window, depositing it outside and closing the window stronger than necessary.

“Thanks, dad.” He shows him his bright smile and Eddie ruffles his hair.

“Finish your homework.”

“Okay,” another sigh.

He leaves the door open just a crack and rests against the wall. He has to face Buck and he’s afraid of what he will find. He didn’t want to act on his feelings, but now that it’s done, he doesn’t regret it. In fact, he wants to kiss him. For real this time. But he’s scared of what this means for their relationship. Maybe they should sit and talk, before, you know, anything else. 

He finally gathers the courage and steps into the living room. Buck is on his phone, talking to someone, running his fingers through his hair.

“Okay, yeah, calm down.” He sounds concerned, “I’m on my way,” and hangs up. 

“Everything okay?” Buck jumps at Eddie’s voice, he turns around to face him.

“Yeah, no, I don’t know,” rubs his eyes with his hand, “it was Maddie, she sounded disturbed.”

“Go.”

Buck holds his gaze, biting his lips in hesitation. And Eddie, he doesn’t want him to go either, but they can talk later.

“Buck, go.” He insists. 

Buck nods. “Okay.” He moves to the door but stops just in front of Eddie. He cradles Eddie’s cheek with his hand, and leans in, leaving a gentle kiss on the other one. He steps back, staring at him. “I’ll text you later.”

He goes and Eddie is left there, standing in his living room, hand caressing the spot Buck just lit on fire. Yeah, they have to talk.

But for now, Eddie goes back to his kid. He prepares an easy dinner for them, they eat it, he listens to his son’s stories, they get cleaned up and ready for bed and they read some chapters of their current book.

In the blink of an eye, the night has gone by, and he hasn’t heard from Buck. Once in bed, he takes his phone and texts him. 

**was Maddie okay?**

Buck replies soon enough.

**yeah, she couldn’t find a present for Chim**

**the drama was real**

**I can only imagine**

Eddie can easily picture the Buckley siblings frantically searching for the best present.

**I wish I could’ve stayed**

Eddie’s heart skips a beat.

**me too**

Buck doesn’t text for a while, and Eddie wonders if that’s it, if they are leaving the conversation at that. He doesn’t want to, but he can’t come up with something else to say. Luckily, Buck does. 

**so**

**for tomorrow**

**what’s the dress code**

God, he’s so cute getting all nervous about Chris’ art show. He’s smiling as he texts back.

**buck**

**it’s an art show at a kids’ school**

**whatever you want**

**that doesn’t solve anything**

**fine**

**wear the dark green shirt**

**looks good on you**

**I wouldn’t want to distract you from Chris’ drawings Edmundo**

Eddie snorts. This fucker.

**shut up Evan**

Buck is typing. And then he’s not. And then he is. And finally, a text appears on his screen.

**make me**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehe 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Just one chapter left!  
> Let me know what you think, comments make my day 😊


	8. Friday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the longest one, I couldn’t let them go. Thank you all for reading and leaving kudos/comments, I’ve had a great time writing this story.  
> One day I’ll learn when to use on and in properly, but it is not this day, as Aragorn would say. Thanks Grammarly for changing 80% of them.  
> Hope you like the last one, enjoy!!

When Eddie pulls in the parking lot, he turns off the engine and drops his head against the headrest.

He’s feeling stupidly nervous and excited since yesterday. He can’t stop replaying that moment, his heart beats harder at the memory of Buck’s lips almost in his, at the earnest desire in his eyes. He can’t wait to see him again and at the same time, he is scared as fuck. What are they now? He hasn’t even thought about what he wants. Well, yeah, he wants Buck to kiss him senseless (and some more). There’s no question there. But it’s not that simple.

He wants Buck, he does. He just doesn’t know how to proceed from here. He would rather Buck made the decisions for them, that would be easier (safer maybe). But something tells him Buck is taking the cues from him. Because that’s Buck, he always puts others' happiness before his.

But Eddie has no idea of what to do, and that scares him. He doesn’t know what Buck feels, he can’t even understand the depth of his feelings yet. What if it’s not enough to make it work?

Fuck, they should have talked before coming in for a 12h shift together, with their noisy friends studying their every move. This is gonna be a long day.

He changes and joins his friends upstairs, he’s a bit later than usual due to that brief moment of panic. But all the tension is replaced by warmth the moment Buck places a cup of coffee in his hands, covering Eddie’s fingers with his, thumb brushing his knuckles, and punctuating the gesture with a soft private smile.

The day starts soon enough, the bell ringing 30 min into their shift. And it sets the precedent for a long day filled with back to back calls, Los Angeles is being chaotic today. Which at least, gives Eddie the chance to focus on his job and not on the mess in his head.

They are on their way back from an apartment fire when Bobby informs them he’s putting them out of rotation for an hour at least. They are ordered to take a shower, eat something, and try to get some sleep.

Once at the station, Eddie stays on the truck a while longer to catch his breath. Luckily, there were no casualties on the fire, only some minor injuries, but he had to carry an unconscious woman down three stories, and the exhaustion is catching up with him. Eventually, he drags himself to the locker room to gather his things and take a shower. Chim, Buck, and Andrew are probably showering already so he should be alone in the locker room. Only, he is not.

Buck is waiting for him on the bench, already showered, and as soon as he enters, Buck stands up and approaches him. Eddie mirrors him and gets closer, his tired body moving on autopilot, searching Buck’s proximity.

It’s the first time they’ve been alone since yesterday. He should feel nervous, but he doesn’t. And maybe it’s because he is exhausted, but he just feels safe.

“You okay?” Buck asks.

And Eddie sighs, the concern in Buck’s voice bringing a genuine smile to his face. “Yeah, you?”

There’s a mischievous glint in Buck’s gaze. “Great.” He takes a step closer and places his hands on Eddie’s hips.

Eddie’s breath hitches. “We need to talk.”

“We do.” Buck holds his gaze.

“Not here, though,” his voice quivering. 

“No.”

“Stop.”

“What?”

“Teasing.”

Buck has managed to lift Eddie’s shirt and is stroking the skin there with his thumbs, sending jolts of electricity through Eddie’s body, making him dizzy with want.

Smirking, Buck takes a step closer, the heat emanating from Eddie pulling him in. His eyes flicker to Eddie’s lips, coming up again to stare at his eyes. Eddie swallows and, almost involuntarily, wets his lips. Buck tilts his head to the side as he leans in, for better access. He can feel the puffs of air on his lips when Chim’s voice breaks the spell.

Buck groans and drops his head on Eddie’s shoulder.

“I’m getting tired of the interruptions,” his voice muffled by the fabric of Eddie’s shirt.

“Me too,” Eddie whispers, dropping a kiss to Buck’s curls. They step away as the voices get closer and manage not to look as wrecked as they feel when Chim and Andrew step into the locker room from the showers.

Eddie takes his shower and follows the smell upstairs, Bobby is cooking. He sits at the table, taking the seat next to Buck.

Hen shares a story about Denny’s rock collection. The kid started with cute small stones and know he takes any rock he sees, some of them are huge ones, and they are not even pretty. Apparently, he has a shelf filled with them. Or at least that’s what Eddie thinks she said. He nods and tries to follow the story, but Buck has his hand on Eddie’s knee under the table and he can barely lift the fork, a pool of heat growing in his stomach.

Buck’s hand travels upward, fingers outlining the seam of his pants at his inner thigh and Eddie chokes on water. Buck retracts the hand and pats him on the back. “Are you okay there?” looking innocent. Eddie fixes him with a menacing glare, this fucker.

Thankfully, Buck stops with the teasing for the rest of their shift.

When there are only a few minutes left on the clock, they head to the locker room to get changed. Chris’ art show is starting now and if there’s not too much traffic maybe they can be there in twenty minutes.

Buck is buttoning his shirt when Bobby steps in. “Buck, can you cover for Rose for a couple of hours?”

“Uhh,” he locks eyes with Eddie before facing Bobby, “we have this thing at Chris’ school.” Bobby raises his eyebrows. “Is there anyone else to cover for her?” he tries.

“No, I asked everybody,” Bobby says apologetically.

“Ugh, I owe her. She covered for me last week.” She did, and even if he wants to go with Eddie, he knows he has to stay. Fuck.

“So?”

Buck sighs. “Okay, yeah.” Bobby nods and leaves the room.

Buck closes his locker with more strength than necessary, and rests his back against it, closing his eyes.

Eddie’s voice comes from in front of him. “I’ll explain Chris, he’ll understand” Buck opens his eyes and looks at Eddie, “I’ll send you photos,” he tries to reassure him. 

“Please,” Buck pleads.

“Come home when you finish your shift.”

And that breaks Buck’s resolve. The earnest request, the domesticity, Eddie always calling it _home_. He surges forward and captures Eddie’s lips in his.

The kiss is soft, a gentle press of lips at first. Eddie’s hand comes to rest on his chest, feeling Buck’s heartbeat. Buck places his hand on Eddie’s neck, pulling a whimper from his mouth. At Eddie’s parted lips, Buck dares to take one in his, nipping it smoothly. And Eddie lets himself go. The kiss gets deeper, chasing each other’s lips, their lungs filling with passion. They get lost in each other, savoring how their tastes mix together.

When they break apart, Buck covers Eddie’s hand with his. For a few seconds that feel like an eternity, they stand like that, close, breathing hard, Buck looking adoringly at Eddie, who looks delightfully wrecked.

"I'll see you later." Buck whispers, voice hoarse, the words tingling on Eddie’s lips.

Eddie nods, taking a step back. He clears his throat. "Be safe."

Eddie gets to Chris’ school and navigates the hallways till he reaches the art classroom. The room is packed with parents and their kids. There are small stations around the room, with a small table and a corkboard each, one for kid, he guesses. He spots Carla and Chris on the second table at his right. Carla sees him and smiles, bending to tell something to Chris, who turns to his dad.

“Daaaad” Eddie smiles and joins them.

“Hey, mijo.” He kisses his head.

Chris looks around. “Where’s Buck?” Eddie locks eyes with Carla, who probably guessed what happened.

“He had to cover for someone, kid.” Chris pouts, “but he’ll join us for dinner.” Eddie knows it not enough, but it’s something. He wanted Buck here too. He didn’t want to leave him at the station, even less after that breathtaking kiss. He needs Buck next to him.

“But I wanted to show him my projects,” Chris whines.

“We can take photos,” Eddie tries his best to reassure his kid, “and maybe we can take some home.”

Christopher has a sad look on his face, disappointed even, and Eddie doesn’t know what to do.

Carla comes to the rescue, redirecting Chris’ attention. “Hey, Christopher, why don’t you show your dad your projects?”

Eddie sends her a grateful smile. He looks for the first time at Chris’ stand. The table is full of small sculptures and the board has lots of drawings pinned to it.

Chris explains his projects one by one. He tells his dad the teachers let each kid prepare their own exhibition. Eddie is standing before a curated selection of Christopher’s best creations.

Chris starts with those at the table. Eddie recognizes one of the clay figures, a tall giraffe. He remembers Buck and Chris working really hard to make it look convincing a few weeks ago. His heart swells in his chest with something he can’t yet recognize. He takes a photo and sends it to Buck.

Eddie listens to Chris’ explanation about each project. What was asked of them, what he did and how he did it. Eddie is so proud of his kid, he is so talented and bright. He asks questions here and there, amazed by his son’s creativity. He made the right call bringing him to this school.

Eventually, they move to the drawings on the corkboard. The frog drawing isn’t there, which isn’t surprising at all, it was kinda creepy. There’s a drawing of Abuela’s backyard, with the blue swing they painted this summer. Another one of the firetruck, and small firefighters around it.

“We had to draw our family tree,” Chris says, moving onto the next one. “Three generations only.”

And Eddie. Eddie looks at the drawing and everything else becomes white noise. Three roots converge into Chris. Shannon, Eddie, and Buck. He feels a tightness in his chest. He swallows, he can hear Chris’ voice in the background explaining it to him, but Eddie can’t focus on it. He is frozen in place, the whole world blurred except for the sheet of paper in front of him.

Chris is the tree, and they are the roots. Shannon’s lineage is on the left, her parents under her. He’s in the center, with his sisters. They are the result of their parents, at the bottom. Chris drew Abuela too, apparently. On the left, there’s Buck. With Maddie and their parents underneath them.

Shannon and Eddie’s lines join to create the trunk, Christopher. But Buck. Buck’s line joins Eddie’s first. Their lines coming together to become one. And Eddie can’t breathe. Because his son has managed to put together what Eddie himself couldn’t understand.

Chris has made it so simple, just a few colored lines. That’s it. And maybe it’s that easy. He’s been battling his feelings, trying to understand them. But he doesn’t have to anymore, his son has drawn it for him.

Buck’s life is intertwined with theirs, with Eddie’s. Their roots tangle becoming one. And it feels right. Eddie couldn’t have it any other way. They are family. Buck belongs with them, with him.

A sudden grounding dizziness hits him. He is in love with Buck.

He doesn’t hear Chris’ voice anymore. He’s staring at the drawing, having lost perception of time and space. His heart beating loud in his chest.

A voice to his right startles him. Ana.

“Hi, Eddie,” she smiles, “where’s Buck?”

Eddie can’t manage a smile, it’s a wonder he produces an answer. “He had to work.”

Ana notices the drawing Eddie is staring at. “You can take the drawing home,” she says, voice soft. 

“Thanks,” he nods, and she leaves him to it.

His phone buzzes in his pocket. A text from Buck.

**Ginny the giraffe!!**

And a few seconds later.

**I wish I were there with you**

Eddie’s chest tightens, the oxygen not reaching his lungs.

**me too**

He takes a deep breath. He needs to tell Buck. He should be scared, but he isn’t, this is where they were always headed. He knows Buck feels the same, that he has for a while. Somehow, deep down he’s always known what Buck felt. He proves it every day, taking care of Christopher and him. Buck has been waiting for Eddie to catch up. And now that he has, he can’t waste another second. They have to talk, for real. They owe it to them, to their future together, to their family.

He takes the drawing from the board and turns around, looking for Chris and Carla. 

Buck opens the door with his key and steps into the house, _home_.

They had only one call in the two hours he had to cover, and he wasn’t really needed. He wanted so bad to go to the art show with Eddie, to be with him.

There’s light coming from the kitchen. Eddie is there, cleaning the counter, his back to Buck. He knocks on the door, a soft smile taking control of his face. Eddie turns to look at him and Buck thinks he knows every expression on Eddie’s book, but this one, this one he can’t pinpoint. Weird. Before any of them can say anything, Chris appears in the kitchen, a drawing in his hand.

“Buck!!” Automatically, his attention turns to the boy, crouching in front of him.

“Hi, Superman!” Buck kisses his cheek, “I’m so sorry I couldn’t go to your art show, I was really looking forward to it.”

“I know, it’s okay.” He was disappointed at first, but his dad and Carla made him understand there’s nothing Buck wanted more than to be there.

Buck smiles at him and notices the paper in his hand. “What do you have there?”

“It was a surprise, I wanted to show it to you at the art show. Ms. Flores said we could bring it home so you could see it.” He maneuvers himself with his crutches and holds it so Buck can see it. “It’s my family tree.”

Buck gasps. He is there, in the drawing. He is a sticky figure next to Eddie, in Chris’ family tree. His heart grows bigger and warmer in his chest. God, he loves this kid as his own, and for Christopher to include him in there, means the world to him. This is everything he ever wanted, to belong.

He looks up and he sees that weird look on Eddie’s face again. No. Fuck. Is Eddie mad at him? Chris seeing him as a parental figure, he intruded their unit of two. Eddie can’t be happy with him taking that much space. They are his family, but he is just Buck for them. He overstepped, he’s taken too much from them. Oh fuck. His lungs hurt, he can’t breathe. He has ruined every chance he ever had with Eddie, with them. He has to take a step back.

He is spiraling, panicking over how to apologize to Eddie, how to fix it when he hears someone call his name. Chris is no longer there, he is alone on his knees and frozen. Eddie must have been calling his name a few times. This is it, this is where everything he has breaks apart. He took too much, he was too selfish. Eddie calls for him again. He blinks the tears away, he didn’t even notice his moist eyes.

Eddie takes his arm and helps him stand up. They are face to face, only inches away. Buck can’t look into his eyes, for fear of what he would find there.

“I- I’m so sorry, Eddie…” He stutters, taking a shaky breath. He can’t stop the tears this time.

A thumb catches the teardrop halfway through his face. He looks up. Eddie is staring at him with a profound intensity he has never seen before. He takes Buck’s head in his hands, stroking his cheeks with his thumbs softly as if he were scared Buck would break.

“I’m the one who should say that.” Eddie’s voice is a whisper between them. He takes a deep breath, “I-I’m sorry I took you for granted, Buck. I'm sorry if you thought you couldn't ask for more,” Eddie’s gaze so intense it hurts, Buck looks down, “I’m sorry if you’ve ever felt you’re anything other than our family. I’m sorry I wasn’t brave enough.” Eddie swallows, tilting Buck’s face, till their eyes lock again, and takes a deep breath, “I’m sorry it took a school project for me to realize I’m in love with you, Evan.” 

Buck breath hitches. “What?”

“I love you, Buck,” Eddie says, his voice soft yet firm.

Buck stares at Eddie. It can’t be. He has tried so hard not to let himself hope he hardly believes Eddie’s words. But the look on his eyes, the one he misread before, says everything. It’s true. Buck lets out a shaky breath, a smile overtaking his face, “I love you too."

Eddie leans in to kiss him, a gentle press of lips sealing their confession. Buck moves his hands to Eddie’s neck and, hesitating, deepens the kiss. Eddie responds, moving his lips against his. They exchange apologies and promises, learning a new form of communication, reaffirming their trust and commitment with each breath they take together, their lips moving in a sweet dance of worship and desire.

Eventually, they need to breathe. Buck rests his forehead against Eddie’s, not letting him go too far away.

"Fuck, Eddie, I was so scared,” his voice rough with relief.

“You don’t have to be anymore,” Eddie moves a bit so he can stare at his eyes when he adds, “this is it for me, Buck. You are.”

“You are for me too, both of you,” his eyes spark with hope and anticipation, “I want everything with you. The house, the art shows, the late nights, the early mornings, the family reunions, the cat..."

Eddie furrows his brows, smiling. "The cat?"

Buck shakes his head. "Just go with it," Eddie chuckles and leans in to kiss him again.

“I want it too,” Eddie whispers between kisses.

They only break apart when they hear Chris’ crutches.

Chris comes into the kitchen, looking sad. “I’m sorry, Buck,” he says with not looking at them.

Buck crouches in front of him, mirroring the position from before. “Hey, no, Chris,” he says with a soft voice, “There’s nothing to be sorry about.”

“But you were upset by my drawing,” Chris stutters.

Buck’s heart breaks, he got so lost in himself, spiraling out of control, he didn’t think about Chris. “I loved your drawing,” he tells him genuinely, “I-I was overwhelmed.”

“Why?” Chris asks, confused.

Buck searches for Eddie, who is staring at them with the fondest of looks. “Because I love you both so much,” he turns to Chris, “and you are my family. And knowing you wanted me to be your family was too much,” he oversimplifies.

“But you are,” it’s so simple for Chris, “I love you and dad loves you.”

“I do,” Eddie adds from behind, his words warming Buck’s heart. He still can’t believe his luck. 

“I loved it, Chris, it’s a beautiful drawing,” he repeats, “we’ll have to frame it,” and he’s keeping it.

Chris is beaming, his grin lighting up the whole kitchen. He freezes for a second, tilts his head and asks Buck. “Are you and dad together now?”

Buck blushes and dares to look at Eddie, who is not even trying to hide the adoring look in his eyes. “Yeah, do you mind?”

“No,” putting his hand on Buck’s cheek, “I want you here.”

“Me too, kid,” turning his head to drop a kiss on his palm.

They sit on the couch to watch a movie, it’s Friday, after all. Chris sits between them, but Eddie can’t keep himself from Buck’s proximity, so he places his arm on the back of the couch caressing Buck’s neck.

Halfway into the movie, Chris falls asleep between them, it’s been a long week, and they got home later than usual because of the art show. Eddie pauses the movie while Buck takes Chris into his arms, he is already wearing his PJ’s, so they just have to put him in bed.

Buck settles him in the mattress and covers him with the comforter. He takes his glasses off, dropping them on the nightstand, and kisses his forehead.

“Night, Chris. I love you,” he whispers.

He walks out of the room, leaving the door open just a crack. Eddie is leaning against the wall opposite the door. He takes Buck’s hand and pulls him in, their lips crashing together in a heated kiss. Buck moans and Eddie smirks, moving one hand to Buck’s lower back, under the t-shirt, and the other one to his neck, deepening the kiss. Before getting too lost in each other, Buck pushes back, his hands on Eddie’s chest.

“Chris’ room is right there,” he manages, voice hoarse. Eddie chuckles and pulls Buck away, taking his hand.

He guides them to the couch, sitting and patting the free spot on his left. Buck sits as Eddie starts the TV, “You want to finish The Witcher’s episode from yesterday?” Buck nods, even if he knows he’s not gonna be paying attention.

The episode starts and they keep their hands to themselves. The tension in the room almost bursting the lightbulbs. No one knows who made the first move, but they end up laying on the couch, Buck on top of Eddie, kissing him senseless.

The kiss starts heated, hands roaming each other’s bodies, moans and whimpers escaping their mouths, fueling their passion. Eventually, the heat becomes warmth. The kiss gets softer, their lips moving gently, slower. Their bodies melting together.

Buck pulls back, a sudden yawn overtaking him. “Sorry.”

Eddie stares at him, mesmerized by the man in front of him. Buck’s lips are swollen, his hair a mess, his face relaxed. “You are beautiful,” slips from his lips. 

Buck blushes and hits him on the shoulder. “Shut up.”

Eddie chuckles. “Sleep?”

Buck nods, another yawn taking control of his body.

“Come to bed with me,” Eddie affirms more than asks.

“Yes, please.”

They turn off the TV and stand up, heading to the bedroom, hand in hand. They get ready for bed and settle on the mattress.

Eddie lays on his back and reaches for Buck, who settles on his side, his head resting on Eddie’s shoulder. Buck draws circles on Eddie’s chest with his fingers when the other breaks the silence. “How do we do this?”

Buck readjusts himself, resting his chin on Eddie’s shoulder so they can look at each other. “Just like we’ve been doing these past few years. We were acting very couplely already,” he pauses, evaluating something, and adds, “We should work on our communication, though. And figure out how are we telling the others. But we can talk about that tomorrow.”

Eddie hums and stays quiet, something in his mind. Eventually, he says, “I wanna take you out on a date.”

Buck snorts, “I knew you were a romantic at heart,” earning himself an eye roll, then, “I would like that,” he adds softly.

Eddie smiles, bringing his hand to caress Buck’s cheek. “I love you.”

Buck sighs, leaning into the touch, “I love you too.” He kisses him slowly.

Buck lays back down, his head on Eddie’s shoulder. They are wrapped in each other arms, their legs tangled together. Tomorrow they’ll talk about their future, they’ll learn how to be together, understanding their fears and insecurities, working on their communication. But tonight, they let the warmth and safety of their embrace lull them to sleep.

Before drifting off, Eddie whispers, “Night, Buck.”

Buck’s voice, heavy with sleep, answers, “Good night, Eds.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it, I hope you liked it!
> 
> Fun fact: I had this idea of Chris showing Maddie the family tree with Buck on it. I started working around that scene, creating the context and here we are, 20k later  
> Fun fact 2: Denny's rock collection is based on mine, I had huge ugly rocks in my room for years. My mom was worried 😂
> 
> Soph, thanks for loving it so much 💕
> 
> Thanks for reading and for your support!!❤️ Let me know what you think :)


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